You were the best thing that I never had

The hope for my future that lingers and lingers

I kept a white-knuckle grip on my ideal of you

As I wished the strength would slip out of my fingers

But your presence was truly intoxicating

The way your smile and laugh lit up every room

I still can’t tell if I was imagining it all

Caught up in a haze of my infatuation with you

Is it wrong to look back and think of you with anger?

Is it worse to look back and feel love?

Was I insane to weave my whole life around you?

Was I stupid to think I’d ever be enough?

You hurt more than helped, despite what I imagined

Being only my best for you started to take a toll

But I know my pain was the result of my naivety

And the belief that I’ll ever be a part of a whole

The only way to escape was to take out the scissors

Cut slowly around your essence

Piece my life back together heartache by heartache

Until normal feels less like your presence