i close my eyes and take a deep breath

count… 1… 2…3

i open them, but all i see is red

searing, burning red

i need to get a grip

he always makes me feel like this

my heart races and my hands shake

why am i so emotional?

my pulse quickens as he meets my eyes

i can’t handle it anymore

“hey, steph”

no

i can’t

the way he says my name

i raise my arms

it could be a punch

or an embrace

but i don’t find out because he turns to head to class

my cheeks burn

my legs shake

i cringe

but, that could have gone much worse