To my discovery, the challenges of my gender appear not only to have begun as exhaustive, but are expanding in oddity and their sinister nature with each day.

 “Well, you don’t wanna walk home alone! As another girl, I thought you’d understand?” Sheri looked at me with a tentative expression, her eyes a little wide under her false lashes which brushed against the bubble of her fringe.

 Her hair was auburn today. Her eyes remained their natural shade of chocolate and caramel candies, she was after all, a very sweet girl. The freckles that settled in their pattern beneath those eyes looked as though she’d intended to randomize them but alas, one’s hand does tend to follow the automatic when working quickly. I knew she prided herself in those interesting shifts in her looks, “a master of disguise,” she’d said with such a vivaciousness, but even budding illusionists must leave the house at a reasonable hour for their secretarial day job. 



 “What’s wrong with my walking home alone?” I asked, I never understood that sort of thing. I’d always kept myself much the same, unlike Sheri. She was taken with many fashions, frequently changing her wigs, clothes, makeup, and contacts, to suit her moods. 

 I was always quite plain. I liked it that way, and my boss Mister Beaumont certainly didn’t mind the lack of suspicion from his wife. I didn’t have to think about the plumpness of my figure or the crop of my hair, I could focus on more important things. As my mother would say, perhaps that’s why I’m so alone, and I ought to think about that when I take those last bites of my meals after work.



 “You walk home alone?! In the dark? What if some creep comes along?!” Sheri looked as shocked and disturbed as though I told her I lived some sort of double life.



 “I’ve never been bothered at night while walking home. I suppose I just don’t seem like a good target.” I said so, because it’s true. I’m not a good target for creeps and kidnappers, why would they want anything to do with me? I’m not exceptionally good looking, I have no value there. Besides that, I’m large, I look strong and risky to try to cross, I’d even look a bit mannish if I dressed the part.

 Sheri looked at me with an expression I never thought I’d ever see from her, not directed at me, anyhow. It was one I could only describe as admiring. 



 “Nothing scares you, does it, Cal?” She asked me, I couldn’t help but smile at her.



 “What on earth do I have to be scared of? It’s girls like you who need to worry about creeps and rapists. I don’t have the curse of a pretty figure or a penchant for the latest fashions.” 

 She smiled back at me, her smile felt so warm in this sterile office. She was leaning against the wall by my desk, as she often did. I imagine I feel like a safe presence for most girls to be around; it’s not like I’m going to outshine them, I’m not even competing with them. The electric humming of the fluorescent lights overhead gave the whole room a strange ambiance that could only be matched by the corporate specter that floated and fluttered about from building to building, haunting these places with cold summers and roasting winters. 

 My ficus bobbled a bit at the brush of her skirt, and the curling smoke of her cigarette reached up to those humming lights in the ceiling, barely perceptible against the muted grey walls surrounding us. It’s a wonder why they didn’t just leave the barriers blank, but I suppose having them painted did look finished if nothing else. 



 “Cal, you have just as much in the looks department as anyone, you just need to dress it up right. Though I suppose you may be onto something, homlier gals probably don’t have the issue of getting catcalled and followed like I do.” Sheri, always such a sweetheart. I straightened the papers for mister Beaumont on my desk, then set them aside as I pulled a new type ribbon and a pair of gloves from my drawer.



 “Well, if you’re really that worried, Sheri, I’d be happy to walk you home after work.”

 I pulled my gloves on so as not to get ink on my fingers before beginning unspooling the ribbon from its original casing and clamping the end onto my machine. I didn’t like getting my hands messy, I still dont. I caught myself thinking about how I wasn’t the biggest fan of the black and red nylon ribbons, I thought the plain black cotton ribbons looked nicer both in the machine and their typeface on the page, even though they could easily get punched through. After all, it wasn’t like we were ever going to reuse the ribbons, but I suppose mister Beaumont wasn’t exactly concerned with my opinion on aesthetics.



 Sheri seemed to perk up at my offer, which I figured she would.



 “You’d do that for me, Cal?” She asked, I nodded.



 “Why not? You’re practically on my way. I’d just need you to wait up a few minutes til Mister Beaumont relieves me, he always has a last minute note or two to leave me with so that I’m not waiting around useless in the mornings.” Mister Beaumont had an awful habit of showing up very late to the office, but I supposed the head boss could show up whenever he liked. As long as the CEO wasn’t on his way down to our regional center, there was no reason for him to be concerned with being on time. 



 “I wonder what he does every morning. He’s usually in around ten o’clock if he comes in the morning at all, right? What could possibly keep a man so long every single morning?” Sheri wondered aloud as she took a hit from her cigarette once more. I shrugged with my indifference. 



 “So long as I get paid for my full eight, I’m happy.” We both had a bit of a laugh at that, but then Sheri’s lunch break was over. We agreed she would wait for me in the lobby that evening, and I would walk her home.



 That evening, as predicted, Mister Beaumont had a few extra mentions for me that I wouldn’t be able to do until the morning.



 “Be sure to send the Fredricks’ accounting log off to the Santa Barbara office, and don’t forget to make us a copy. I’ll also need you to pick up my dry cleaning and bring it here, try to do that first thing, if you can. Oh, and if you don’t mind, while you’re on your lunch tomorrow; I need another birthday gift for my daughter. You don’t need to buy anything, but you know her sensibilities and you’re of a similar sort of..” he vaguely gestured to mh body, I nodded. I understood completely, and he nodded with a casual gratitude.



 “I’m sure I can find something suitable for her. Is there anything else I can do for you this evening?”



 “Thanks, Callissa. Feel free to head home now, you did good work today.” 



 “Thank you sir, have a good night.” I had turned to leave, but a clearing of Mister Beaumont’s throat gave me pause.



 “Callissa, how do you get home in the evenings?” He tried to keep his voice the same, but I could tell he had something else on his mind. I wasn’t sure exactly what that would be. It was a curious question, so I imagine I looked at him with a curious expression when he asked it.



 “Same way I get here in the morning, sir. I walk.”



 “At night? By yourself?” He asked, incredulous. And I imagine my face turned even more curious.



 “Yes, sir?” 



 “You can’t be serious, you can’t walk home alone this time of night on your own!” He scoffed at me. 



 He scoffed at me.



 “Why not, sir?” I asked him, and he paused. The sound of the clock above his desk was the only sound between us for a moment, for about eight seconds, to be precise. I had counted. Just long enough to be awkward, to watch him flounder a moment for the right thing to say. Admittedly, I was floundering a bit myself. He’d certainly never acted concerned about my means of transport before, why now?



 “Well, don’t you worry about creeps and such?”



 “I’ve never been bothered, myself, sir.” I couldn’t help but wonder still, why he had asked me about it. Perhaps he and Sheri had been talking? I’m sure my curiosity read on my face, but I didn’t know exactly what to ask him.



 “Well, you carry a pistol on you at the very least, don’t you? Or maybe pepper spray?”



 Another five seconds passed before I answered. “Perhaps I should start?” It felt eerie to admit that I didn’t, especially after now. Two people had asked me about walking home alone within the day, it felt like an omen of sorts. I could hear my mother now; “Don’t be so awfully paranoid, Callissa. It’s very unattractive, honestly.”