I feel like I’m on the edge of an black void

That maybe that void has answers that I desperately need

To quiet down those constant questions or old conversations

Feels like I’m so far away from everything

That a piece of me is missing that I can’t function properly

And I’m loosing all those happy memories

Those memories of summertime, eating strawberries on sticks

Even when the heat was too much, with the sunburns I still want to go outside and

breath

that city air and talk to anyone especially with that accent

Spending the day socialising inside with the A/C on blast and nights on colourful streets

Those memories of wandering aimlessly in the night with dozens of flashing and glaring lights

Like your on some stage

With no audiences because everyone’s on the stage

Walking past some of the most oddly dressed people but beautiful to look at makes you feel like your with them wearing the same odd colours

that makes you feel confident and you know you look weird but you don’t feel it because your not the outlier anymore and you just don’t care.

When you see familiar faces

And the same places

All those happy memories comes back

And it feels so foreign but you belong

You feel whole again

I remember that dog called cherry which came into the flat and landed on me and started to lick my face off

I remember my friend called sammy and telling him in my baby voice “I’ll be back” copying the terminator movies we both recently watched then laughed and cried all the way to the air port.

I remember that I used to wake up every day at 7 just to watch my favourite show the Sesame Street

And being obsessed with Care Bears because every 4 months we’d come beach to England and my auntie would read it to me.

And that i got lost in that American brand shop called maicys and 2 hours later an cop found me on the 3rd floor by the lift and remembering that I was so scared that I’d end up bumping into women who had the same long back coat that my mum had