She had an open-door policy

the time?

It didn’t matter.

Two doors down

from the apartment I

grew in.

She was fifty-seven

when my front door was wide open

and she marched right in

taking me and little Billy from our crib

as our mama relapsed on the floor

in front of our three year old

yorkie. He went down with mom

that night.

His relapse was fatal.

How do you explain to a bunch of

four-year-olds

that your home

was their home?

I was eight when mama's boyfriend

came into my room

without my permission

and Billy screamed loud enough

long enough

for me to get to her door

and she beat him

out of the apartment complex

onto the street

in front of a car.

She said,

“officer,

he dropped his jacket

I was just trying to return it”

after she had gone back and got his jacket

throwing it

spitting at

him.

Twelve.

I was pregnant.

With a baby, I couldn’t care for

maybe didn’t want.

For a man

twice my age

plus four

times two.

I cried inside her door.

Drinking her

special

tea.

She looked on

sipping a different liquid

but mouth never speaking.

Until suddenly I felt no more baby.

And I no longer cried

and she no longer gave me

tea.

Billy was fourteen

when he pushed dad down the stairs.

He hid inside her doors

the first time they were ever shut

to everyone but us.

Billy met him in the hall.

Dad was a little too brave and

stabbed him four times

in the leg.

She nursed him

until the infection was too bad

and then she drove me to his funeral

where we sat in the first pew

her squeezing my hand

Every time our father was heard sniffling.

And when I turned sixteen

I took too many pills

and thought/wanted death.

Until it pulsed through my veins

and the room got cloudy

and my mind could hardly think

my body still exerted all of its energy to get to her door

and I lived.

But her open-door policy

failed

only her.

When Dawson from three doors down

drank too much

and had a little too much confidence

enough to grab his daddy’s gun

march down the hallway

to her open door.

She talked him down

at least tried

but you know trying only goes so far

until three bullets in the chest

and

one in the head

end it all.

She had an open-door policy

the time?

It didn’t matter.