Wake up

Wake up

My heart is racing my back creaks

My body aches and groans

A chill runs through my bones

The sheets of my bed drenched in sweat

The sound of my mom’s voice proving that this

Is reality.

I find myself standing outside of school

How did I get here when did I arrive

It’s all just a blur,exhausted from the night before.

The day becomes a haze I want to sleep

My body craves it but I’m scared of what I’ll see

Im scared that I’ll find me

I’m scared of what I’ll do to me.

It’s lunch the tables are filled with chatting teens

I don’t remember making my way there but my legs feel like their on fire as if I walked a mile.

I sit amongst my friends letting their laughter keep me awake, it’s pitiful I can tell their worried

Who wouldn’t I look like death itself

I use to dream of sweet things

Like fluffy marshmallow clouds

And of mountain of sweets

Now I only dream of it.

My head pounds my ears ring

Please just stop looking at me

Whisper in my ear get louder

It’s hard to understand

Just shut up

Shut up

SHUT UP!

Everything goes quiet

Only the sound of a pencil made me realize

I was standing in class

The teacher looked furious I don’t blame them

Who would ,as they see it a troublemaking teen

Just told them to shut up.

It’s the end of the day the hours pass by when You’re in a daze, while others are heading to their homes, I’m stuck here in the principal office with my mom

She’s talking to me but it’s all muffled I can tell she’s angry

My eyelids feel heavy

I just want sleep to comfort me

To wrap me in it’s embrace

Just a small rest.

I can’t move why can’t I move

My chest feels heavy it’s hard to breathe

I need to scream I want to scream but I can’t.

When did I fall asleep I let my guard down

I mustn’t open my eyes

I know it’s here

I know it’s waiting

Standing right over me.

It’s getting harder to keep my eyes closed

It’s getting closer every night

Watching and waiting

For the time I open my eyes

I have to wake up

Wake up

WAKE UP!

A chill runs though my bones

My body groans and aches

My back creaks and my heart is racing

The couch cushion is drenched in sweat

The feeling of my mom’s hand on mine proving

That I’m alive.