A single drunken kiss is all it was We’re just friends is what you said I told myself I could stop loving you That the pain would fade away But every smile you give him every kiss It breaks me piece by piece
My heart feels like it’s on fire Burning with forbidden desire I know I have no right to feel this way I thought I could be yours forevermore, Now I know it was never meant to be
Reality Illusions and clouded judgment Wanting,waiting, and hoping The water is clear But all I see is my deepest fears
I sobs until the tears break. The only other sound is a ticking clock Holding me back from my sleep I lie in bed with eyes that weep.
Oh please please just let me sleep,
Only to rise from my nightmarish Dreams, With clouded thoughts in my head, Hearing that dreadful c tic tok tic tok once again It feels as if I’m losing my head . Facing this endless night with never ending dread.
Is this a dream Or Reality
Seasons change Weather shifts And people grow old But my love for you has always stayed the same
I was twenty and you eighteen when we first met a spring night unlike any other Falling in love as we danced in the rain Till death do us part we both sang to the heavens With the rain being the one to give us away
Even though Our bones may now be brittle And time hangs low on our face On this very night Of the first spring shower allow me to take you into my arms Let me look into your blue eyes Full of love and beauty Let us dance once last time in the rain Till the music in our soul cease to play
Wake up Wake up My heart is racing my back creaks My body aches and groans A chill runs through my bones The sheets of my bed drenched in sweat The sound of my mom’s voice proving that this Is reality.
I find myself standing outside of school How did I get here when did I arrive It’s all just a blur,exhausted from the night before.
The day becomes a haze I want to sleep My body craves it but I’m scared of what I’ll see Im scared that I’ll find me I’m scared of what I’ll do to me.
It’s lunch the tables are filled with chatting teens I don’t remember making my way there but my legs feel like their on fire as if I walked a mile.
I sit amongst my friends letting their laughter keep me awake, it’s pitiful I can tell their worried Who wouldn’t I look like death itself I use to dream of sweet things Like fluffy marshmallow clouds And of mountain of sweets Now I only dream of it.
My head pounds my ears ring Please just stop looking at me Whisper in my ear get louder It’s hard to understand Just shut up Shut up SHUT UP!
Everything goes quiet Only the sound of a pencil made me realize I was standing in class The teacher looked furious I don’t blame them Who would ,as they see it a troublemaking teen Just told them to shut up.
It’s the end of the day the hours pass by when You’re in a daze, while others are heading to their homes, I’m stuck here in the principal office with my mom She’s talking to me but it’s all muffled I can tell she’s angry My eyelids feel heavy I just want sleep to comfort me To wrap me in it’s embrace Just a small rest.
I can’t move why can’t I move My chest feels heavy it’s hard to breathe I need to scream I want to scream but I can’t. When did I fall asleep I let my guard down I mustn’t open my eyes I know it’s here I know it’s waiting Standing right over me.
It’s getting harder to keep my eyes closed It’s getting closer every night Watching and waiting For the time I open my eyes I have to wake up Wake up WAKE UP!
A chill runs though my bones My body groans and aches My back creaks and my heart is racing The couch cushion is drenched in sweat The feeling of my mom’s hand on mine proving That I’m alive.
As I lie In my bed looking up at the ceiling feeling annoyed The sound of the rain filled the house it’s melancholy atmosphere perfect for what I feel trapped in my feelings of hopelessness reminding me that I can never escape .
The sound of the notifications on my phone was ringing every minute helping to light up my room with it blue hue. Ding ding ding that sound driving me to insanitary I turned away from ding ding ding how long will this go on I wonder ding ding ding i turned back around to look at my phone watching it taunt me ding ding ding then silence For a tick then two finally I can rest or so I thought
a knocking so faint and soft I tried to ignore it thinking it was just in my head then it came aging tap tap tap much louder than the first go around and much harder to ignore so I slipped out from the safety of my blanket letting out a sigh as my feet touched the cold wooden floor.
I used my phone to light my path.The sound of the knocking grew louder as I made my way to the door I didn’t even look to my clock as I felt that I didn’t want to know the answer to that.
As I got closer to the door a voice called out “Charlie please open up I’m not leaving until we talked face to face” I sighed and leaned my head on the door “Please Alex just go home it’s better for both if we went on with our lives”a pound on the door made me back away a little “Listen hear Charlie!” They yelled “ you have no right to be avoiding me like this you coward, I gave you everything no one else can love you like I did” their voice shaking a bit as they spoke “ is it something I did I could change please just please I’ll do better just be mine again”
I put my back to the door and slide down putting my head onto my knees one I sat one the floor “ This right here This is the reason why “ I let out a strangled laugh “ you loved me so fiercely that I burned;now you’ll only be left with ashes” My throat starting to hurt as I tried to hold back tears “ I felt like a wild bird in a small cage kept away from others sure it was safe and I enjoyed the comfort it brought” I hugged myself tightly And shivered “until I realized that I was trapped, others were able to fly freely and be loved from a far.” I head a sob on the other side of the door as I continued.
“You were so scared and insecure that I’ll leave you for another that you tried everything to make me fear the world around me, one minute you’re saying sweet words the next you would cure my name.”
I picked up my head and wiped away my tears standing up to open the door looking them straight in their eyes noticing that they were red and puffy, feeling a pinch of guilt but quickly pushing it away.
“So please if you really truly loved me you would let me go” my voice slowly getting louder with the sound of the wind and rain picking up “so for my own sanity please stay away from me and stay out of my life!” I yelled seeing them flitch and back away, before they could utter another word I backed away and closed the door and make my way back to bed hoping that they’ll be able to move on.
You find yourself on top of a roof a A man in a top hat and long coat stands before you, in the cover of the night it’s hard to make out his features but his silhouette suggests that their talk a lanky with a mess of curls on top of their head.
The man looks to you with only the only features you can seeing being the shine of his golden eye and his cat like grin. The man cackles and says “what’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve believe” You go in to speak but the man quickly places a long finger on your lips
“Shhh you must think carefully of this you only get one change I can tell if you’re lying ” the man moves his finger from your lips and move his hand to the side of your face “before you tell me let me tell you this As children you humans believe many of the silliest things, many of the terribly boring” he moves away from you and turns away “ like a girl named Louise who believed the moon was made out of cheese or the boy named Bede who thought if he swallowed a seed it would turn into a Tree,”
The atmosphere was soon getting heavier as he spoked his voice getting more annoyed and deeper as he spoke of names you people You never knew. You took this chance to start running away but right when you turned the man was right in font of you once more
“Now dear child it rude to leave when one’s taking” he grabs your shoulder as he whispers this “now child you still need to tell me what’s the most ridiculous thing you believe and let me tell you this “ he sneers licking his lips “I’m getting hungrier by the night, and I must say I’m really trying to be nice here,now let me make this clear the Thing I truly want is your most ridiculous fear”.
On this mournful night I started to remember
That fading summer morning the day was bright and sunny But only death hanged in the air that day The cries of family and friends filled the air “He was so young” they weeded “Why oh why” they cried What a pitiful display it was My dear brother your joyful life Taken away from you in an unjust manner Did you feel pain did you weep I’ll never know
The ride back to the safety of our home felt heavy mother and father spoken little words Careful to speak your name It felt unreal It felt unfair I felt hopeless Now everywhere I go everyone around me Say the same thing “Sorry for your lose” “He’s in a better place now” Ha,like they can understand they didn’t even know you like I Even the bully from down the street changed Putting up a mask to fool the others Like he wasn’t the one to see the events unfold
It’s been a year now And your memories are starting to fade I fear the day I forget you I fear the day I move on
I look to our family and your friends and wonder How can they move on do they not still feel hollow Do they not feel wronged Or am I the only one clinging to the past My heart burns with such anguish and rage Why can’t I seem to move on This burning rage in my soul I can’t seem to shake it
All I seem to see theses days is red Red from the roses that pile on your grave Red from marks on my test Red from My bitten lips Red from my anger Red from the visions of your blood stained face
Whose there under the umbrella? I think you know. Its owner with their sad and dark presence. Dragging along tragic tales. With their skin that’s green and slimy . And lost eyes that screams for help. He turns to you giving a slight nod, You try to ask for help but nothing comes out The only other sound's that breaks is the pitter patter of the rain, And distant oceans that waves goodbye .
The umbrella is creepy and scary You try to yell for him to wait for you But he has promises to keep, Until then he shall not sleep. He leaves a trail of shadows as he leaves
You try to rise from your cold bed, With thoughts of sadness in your head, You look to see your mother in the room, With tear trailing down her face. You realize what’s going on, as you see yourself staring back at you The man you saw tends to the dead. Facing the day with never ending dread. The very grim reaper. Tied to face this world alone, With the warmth of the souls that sing their song.
