I feel my home tremble from the ferocity of the storm. The wind may blow my walls down if it really wanted to. I suppose that’s what I get for living in someone’s shed. Do you think I could ask my neighbors to stay in their house until the wind dies down? They are kind folk. I’ll run over to them right now and see what they tell me. Let me just get my essentials; keys, wallet, phone, yup. All good. Time to run over.

I exit my shed, and I close the door behind me. I hate that there’s no cover over the door way; I’m getting all soaked while trying to lock the door. I don’t want to get too wet before getting across the backyard. Alright, door’s locked. Let’s run! Run, run, run! Ahhh, no! This accursed mud; it just caused me to slip, and I am covered in the stuff. There goes my plans for staying at my neighbor’s. I can’t show up at their place looking like this. Back to the shed I guess. Sigh.

I make it back to the shed. The rain was at least kinda helpful. It helped wash off quite a bit of mud. I need to jump into the shower now. I hope the walls don’t blow away while I’m in there. I don’t want to be found naked in the middle of this storm.

I start to undress. I take off my shirt and throw it on the ground. “This stuff is filthy. I might have to throw my clothes away.” I take off my pants, and as I throw them on the ground, I hear a voice.

“Hey, watch it! You can’t just throw me around like that!”

I jump, startled by the voice. I look around, and I see nobody around. There’s no way the voice came from my pants, although it did sound like that’s where that deep voice came from. I decide to pick up my pants, and I throw them on the ground again.

“Are you deaf? Did you not hear me tell you to not throw me around?”

The voice did come from the pants! “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to throw you around, whoever you are. Are you in my pants? I don’t see anybody on them.”

“I am not on your pants. I am your pants. You better not throw me again, and you better get me cleaned right away. I am filthy, covered in that mud from the puddle you decided to dive into.”

“How can you talk? You’ve never talked before, and you never minded the times I threw you into baskets or on the floor.”

“Ahh, well, you see, the storm outside killed a pair of pants earlier tonight, and the soul of those pants, which is my soul, just flew around in the wind. The wind eventually knocked me into your pants while you were running outside, and now, I have been reincarnated as your pair of jeans.”

“Hmm, okay. That checks out. So now what? I wash you, and I just keep on wearing you?”

“No, no. You will wash me, by hand! None of this throwing me into machines to make me dizzy. You will wash me. Then, you will let me hang dry. I don’t appreciate being burned alive. It’s not very comfy. Once I’m dry, you’re going to just leave me hanging by the window so that I can see outside, and on the days I think the world is pretty, I will let you know to wear me out. Sounds good?”

“And why would I do this for you? I just met you, and this seems like too much work for me. Hand washing? I would never!”

“In return for taking care of me as I asked of you, I will swallow anything you want me to, as long as I can reach it with my pockets or legs. You can take me to stores, pass me whatever you want to take home for free, and I will hold on to it for you. There is no limit to what I can hold; these are men’s jeans, so the pockets on these bad boys are infinite.”

“You got yourself a deal! I’ll get to washing you right away, and we are going to have a great time once this storm clears out.”