I feel my home tremble from the ferocity of the storm. The wind may blow my walls down if it really wanted to. I suppose that’s what I get for living in someone’s shed. Do you think I could ask my neighbors to stay in their house until the wind dies down? They are kind folk. I’ll run over to them right now and see what they tell me. Let me just get my essentials; keys, wallet, phone, yup. All good. Time to run over.
I exit my shed, and I close the door behind me. I hate that there’s no cover over the door way; I’m getting all soaked while trying to lock the door. I don’t want to get too wet before getting across the backyard. Alright, door’s locked. Let’s run! Run, run, run! Ahhh, no! This accursed mud; it just caused me to slip, and I am covered in the stuff. There goes my plans for staying at my neighbor’s. I can’t show up at their place looking like this. Back to the shed I guess. Sigh.
I make it back to the shed. The rain was at least kinda helpful. It helped wash off quite a bit of mud. I need to jump into the shower now. I hope the walls don’t blow away while I’m in there. I don’t want to be found naked in the middle of this storm.
I start to undress. I take off my shirt and throw it on the ground. “This stuff is filthy. I might have to throw my clothes away.” I take off my pants, and as I throw them on the ground, I hear a voice.
“Hey, watch it! You can’t just throw me around like that!”
I jump, startled by the voice. I look around, and I see nobody around. There’s no way the voice came from my pants, although it did sound like that’s where that deep voice came from. I decide to pick up my pants, and I throw them on the ground again.
“Are you deaf? Did you not hear me tell you to not throw me around?”
The voice did come from the pants! “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to throw you around, whoever you are. Are you in my pants? I don’t see anybody on them.”
“I am not on your pants. I am your pants. You better not throw me again, and you better get me cleaned right away. I am filthy, covered in that mud from the puddle you decided to dive into.”
“How can you talk? You’ve never talked before, and you never minded the times I threw you into baskets or on the floor.”
“Ahh, well, you see, the storm outside killed a pair of pants earlier tonight, and the soul of those pants, which is my soul, just flew around in the wind. The wind eventually knocked me into your pants while you were running outside, and now, I have been reincarnated as your pair of jeans.”
“Hmm, okay. That checks out. So now what? I wash you, and I just keep on wearing you?”
“No, no. You will wash me, by hand! None of this throwing me into machines to make me dizzy. You will wash me. Then, you will let me hang dry. I don’t appreciate being burned alive. It’s not very comfy. Once I’m dry, you’re going to just leave me hanging by the window so that I can see outside, and on the days I think the world is pretty, I will let you know to wear me out. Sounds good?”
“And why would I do this for you? I just met you, and this seems like too much work for me. Hand washing? I would never!”
“In return for taking care of me as I asked of you, I will swallow anything you want me to, as long as I can reach it with my pockets or legs. You can take me to stores, pass me whatever you want to take home for free, and I will hold on to it for you. There is no limit to what I can hold; these are men’s jeans, so the pockets on these bad boys are infinite.”
“You got yourself a deal! I’ll get to washing you right away, and we are going to have a great time once this storm clears out.”
I walk through the woods, following my guide. It’s quite enchanting, seeing the life within the trees at night. Fireflies around me shine brighter than the stars in the sky. The chirping of the insects turn the forest into a soothing environment. We continue hiking, and I feel my body becoming more relaxed.
I think to myself that this isn’t a very bad date at all. I’m glad I didn’t bail when he suggested we go hiking by the lake at night; I would have missed out on such a lovely scene. I feel kinda weird that I’m just following him, not making any conversation, but I definitely don’t want to talk. I’m so out of shape. I am breathing kinda heavily right now. I’m sure I won’t be able to get any words out without suffocating. I can wait to talk with him when we get to that special spot he mentioned to me.
We march on for another 15 minutes. My legs are getting tired. How does he move so effortlessly? It’s so hard keeping up with him, but I don’t want to make him slow down just for me. It would be nice if he’d ask me if I was doing okay back here though, or at least offer to take a short break. He did say it wasn’t too bad of a hike, maybe just 20 minutes, so we’re almost there. I gotta keep pushing through. Oh wait, he stopped. Did he read my mind?
“We’re here. This is the spot I wanted to take you to.”
Here? Really? This looks just like the rest of the forest. There’s really nothing special here. We could’ve skipped all that walking if all you wanted me to see was grass and trees. “Oh, that’s cool. Umm, so what’s so special about this spot?”
“Well, I guess not much if you’re just staring at the trees. If you lay down though, you’ll see why I think this spot is lovely.”
I look up, and I see it. There is a nice clearing up above. The trees all part away from the center, and I see the starry night sky and the moon, showing itself off as a thin sliver. This is a nice sight, so I lay down. Maybe the laying down in the soft grass will add to the view. He lays down besides me, his shoulder maybe a foot away from mine, and he stares upwards. I look back up, as well.
Now, I feel why this spot is so special. The soothing sounds of the forest combined with the beautiful sky, it just brings me to such a peaceful state. I get consumed by nature. I fall into a trance.
He gets on his side and faces me. He starts talking to me. “Was this worth the hike? I really hope so.”
Are you kidding me? Of course. I haven’t been so tranquil in so long. “Yes, it definitely was worth it. It’s so nice out here. I feel so relaxed. You can’t really get this state of relaxation back home. Nothing comes close. How did you find this place?”
“Well, I like to hike and explore the forests, and I just came across this spot. And I’m glad you really enjoy this spot as much as I do. Close your eyes. I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“A surprise on top of this? How generous of you.” I let out a light laugh. “You don’t have to give me anything. This trip is enough for me.”
“Just close your eyes. I’m sure you’ll love it. I got this just for you.”
I close my eyes. “Fine, they’re closed, but you don’t have-“ What is this? A sharp pain enters my throat. I open my eyes. I can’t talk anymore. I see him holding a knife inside my neck.
“This is my last gift to you. I am glad you get to go when you’re at your happiest. You got to enjoy the rest of your life. Shhhh, no. No. Don’t struggle. Please. Don’t undo my hard work. I wanted to make you happy.”
He grabs my arms and pin them down. I’m going to die here. He betrayed me. No, why did I follow him here? Why did I let myself trust him? No, I can’t just die here. Please, someone, save me! I can’t talk. I can’t yell! I need help. Somebody, please.
