How did I not see this before?

I guess I’ve always been a pretty straight and narrow guy. Never really breaking the rules fully and abiding by most of the laws set in place. Sure I’ve stolen the odd thing. Like when grocery stores finally put in those self check outs and only placed ONE cashier on a busy Saturday afternoon. You bet I failed to scan a full box of RX Bars retailed at $30. But this is different. Currently driving a brand new 2023 Jeep Wrangler out the lot, with no more as a wave good bye and “drive safe!” It’s hard to believe that I can get away with crimes. A hidden talent I never thought possible? Perhaps. But this time I didn’t even try to hide it or attempt an escape. It’s like the rest of the world is onboard with this ability I have only now discovered.

I’m trying to reflect back on moments of my life where I might have gotten in trouble with the law.

Come to think of it, I’ve never actually been given as much as a speeding ticket. Not that I have much of a metal foot, but I can recall a time where I was blazing down the 400 when I was 17 years old in my Red Pontiac Sunfire. I was going approximately 140km/hr on a highway that only permits you to go around 100. I remember going this speed because the driver in front was setting the pace. However, at a certain point, a policeman pulled up behind and started up his “cherries”. I pulled into the middle lane, but rather than follow me there, he pulled up beside me, and proceeded to pull the driver that had been infant of me. It was kind of strange at the time, but I wrote it off as lucky. Now, it checks out with this new theory I’ve begun to explore a little more.

As I drive along at a high pace of 160km/hr, I can’t help but wonder what else I might be able to get away with. This whole time I’ve been grinding away at life, with very little to show. Money has always been hard to come by, and even harder to keep. Bills and needless spending always seem to have a way of dwindling away what little savings I attempt to make. But what if I didn’t have to grind away at a job I’m not overly fond of? I guess if I am incapable of committing a crime, there’s no reason why I can’t just walk into a bank right now and demand a million dollars, no questions asked. I make the decision to take the next exit off the highway, and pull into the next RBC bank I see. As I sit in the parking lot, my hands tumble slightly. Fear? For sure. But there’s another feeling I can’t help but notice. Excitement. This could be the beginning of a whole new life. The possibilities could be endless. A man capable of getting away with crime. Robbery, tax evasion, violence… murder. This could get interesting. Or even dangerous. What was that quote from that famous movie? “With great power, comes great reasonability?”. I don’t know. Luckily, I’m a pretty reasonable guy… for now.