Lump in my throat,

Why do you form?

Is it a new necklace?

Anxiety to adorn.

Palms that sweat,

Why do you cry?

Sticky and contagious,

Fingers are tight.

I cannot speak,

Voice, where are you?

Words to spell out,

Stories ran through.

I am a failure,

Body be calm,

This is only a test,

No need for alarm.

But I will fail,

Family counts on me,

Mother, brother,

Is this what you need?

“All them 9s,

All them stars too,

A degree in hand,

What more to do?”

“Just one more month,

One more week,

One more minute”,

I cannot speak.

I don’t want those 9s,

Stars are in the sky,

Not on a paper,

That defines my life.

Yet it exists,

Between the lumps, sweat and silence,

These feelings do build

Academia into violence.

I cannot speak,

No, I want to scream,

This test is a torture,

Just for a degree?

“A degree is proof,

Evidence of victory”,

But what’s in that?

If it means nothing to me.

All for you,

Sticky palms write,

Nothing of substance,

Nothing of fight.

I’m just a name,

Through which you succeed,

Nothing of myself,

A conduit to your dreams.

Then pencils come down,

Heads come up,

Have I passed this test?

A test of my love(?)