“How dare you! I can’t believe you would go and say something so absurd!”

“Absurd? Absurd?! You’re seriously calling me absurd right now? You’re the one going on a rampage like a toddler pitching a fit.”

“Ohhhh wow so original, calling ME the child here- you’re no different!”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m calling you, and I’ll keep reminding you until you’re ready to have an adult conversation. That’s the difference between you and I. I’m always ready, you never are.”

“I-I” the raging woman huffed harshly in frustration “I hate you!”

She froze instantly as the words left her lips, eyes wide with instant regret. She hadn’t meant to spew such heavy words on such a miniscule argument.

“Well, Ashley, if I knew you felt that way I would’ve decided to end things a long time ago. Maybe we should reconsider things if you really can’t stand me that much.”

A fury fueled by hurt boiled in her blood at the ease with which he was so flippantly suggesting they throw away all they had built over the past six years. Tears welled from the heat of her anger.

“Maybe we should.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Tears now welled so the only thing Ashley could see was the fractured image of her now ex, Noah standing in front of her cooly.

Without pause Noah turned and stalked into their shared apartment bedroom, slamming the door behind him and effectively ending the conversation.

Now left standing alone in the middle of their living room, still bathed in the soft light of their Christmas tree, the molten rage she once felt cooled until the only feeling left was that of an icy pit in the bottom of her stomach. Dread washed over her at the finality of their words and along with it a much more intense feeling of regret and shame. Why had she let the rage she felt consume her like a wildfire covering a hillside? She could have just as easily stopped things from escalating as she did encourage it.

At last, the tears began to fall. She covered her lips as she began to feel them tremble, shame washing over her like a rogue wave.

Could she still fix this?

Truthfully, she didn’t know. Her and Noah had known each other for years even before they started dating, yet they’d never had an argument quite like this one before- one so filled with heat and venom.

Slowly, she began to make her way to their guest bedroom usually reserved for when their friends and family came to visit from home. With a stillness and silence so unlike the fire that had so volatiley burned just five minutes ago, Ashley closed the door and shuffled over to the bed. As the tears poured and her hideous cries of shame began, Ashley crawled under the covers and lay in the dark alone- just as she felt she deserved to be.

The rest of the weekend went by quietly, with Ashley successfully managing to avoid any run ins with Noah. Most of her time was spent making an indent into the right side of the guest bed, where she cried endlessly. She could hear each night Noah answered the door that weekend, howling and jeering happily with his friends before leaving to go out for a night at the bars. The part that crushed her more than anything was never hearing him come back.

As she cried pitily, she couldn’t help but feel like she deserved all of it even more.

Sadly, tomorrow was Monday which meant she would have no choice but to get up extra early if she was to continue to avoid running into Noah. They both usually had work around the same time and would usually share their mornings together- “Start things on the right foot,” they would say.

As much as she craved to see him and talk to him, apologize even, Ashley didn’t think she could face him after acting the way she did. Part of her knew she should at least try, but the burn of her shame kept her from listening to what she knew was true. So she crept from her room silently, ushering into the kitchen to refill her now empty water bottle. She’d staved off her thirst long enough until the sound of Noah’s footsteps were no longer heard and Ashley could be sure he’d gone to bed.

As she rounded the kitchen corner, her hunch had been proven correct- all lights were off with Noah nowhere to be seen. With a subtle sigh of relief, Ashley opened the fridge and grasped the pitcher of filtered water they kept there. Turning to grab her water bottle, she froze. Blue icy eyes pierced into her soul from the doorway of the kitchen. Noah was in fact up.

“I…”

She began formulating words only to realize that she wasn’t even quite sure what to say. It was more than possible he didn’t want to hear anything from her in that moment if the look in his eyes was any indication. Instead she gulped the words she didn’t feel the strength to utter, opting to turn and finish filling her bottle.

“I was just heading to bed.”

She turned to begin her exit from the kitchen when a tall bare chest stepped in her way.

“After three days of avoiding me that’s all you have to say?”

She chanced a glance to his face and was stunned to find a deep hurt pooling in his eyes. She’d expected a blaze of icy anger, not the blue depths of despair she now gazed into.

“I… I think I’ve already said enough.” She didn’t utter the unspoken words that lay beneath hers, ‘I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have.’

His face scrunched into a glare.

“You don’t just get to tell me you hate me without offering me an explanation.”

He was right. She owed him that at the very least. Nevertheless she could feel the flames stirring in her chest.

“If you wanted an explanation so badly then maybe you should never have stormed off.”

His piercing gaze flicked between her eyes as though contemplating. Then, without warning, Noah reached forward and grasphed Ashley by her hips. Before she could protest he pulled her into him, wrapping his left arm around her waist as his right hand tangled itself in her hair. He burried his face in her neck, a new sense of desperation seeping from his voice.

“Please, Ash, stop this. I don’t want to fight anymore.” He paused, waiting for her to resist him and fight back. When she didn’t he continued, “I’m sorry for what I said, deeply and truly. It was a stupid thing to say.” He took another breath. “I just want you in my arms again, Ash, but I need to know if you meant what you said. I need you to talk to me.”

Ashley couldn’t fight the tears that had been lingering under the surface anymore. She clutched onto the back of Noah’s shirt like her life depended on it as her cries came forth.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of it, Noah I’m so sorry…”

Noah simply held her as the fire that once pooled in her belly doused, placing gentle kisses in her hair.

Ashley knew deep down it was his way of forgiving her and the ever molten fire that she sometimes became.