For the first time in his career as a politician, President Farnsworth had no idea what to do.

First contact with an alien species. It had been decided that only President Farnsworth could pull this off.

“They don’t have any language-translation gadgets like I always see in the movies?” He asked his aides, as he was tying his tie.

“Apparently not,” one aide answered.

“They can hardly be superior then.”

“Mr. President, they traveled through a wormhole to get here. Their technology is at least a thousand years ahead of ours.”

“Hmmph.”

***

They faced each other in the Oval Office. The President in suit and tie, the alien in a metallic brocade gown and a stunning gold belt. Farnsworth was unsure if the alien was male, female, or other.

“Well, uh, welcome,” the President said, and bowed.

The alien looked back at him. It tried to mirror the movement but its dozen legs made this difficult.

The silence in the room was deafening.

Soon the alien’s attention was caught by something. A sheaf on papers on the President’s desk. A tentacle reached out to touch them.

“You can have those,” the President said as he picked them up.

The alien took them. Then it took off its gold belt and held it out to the President.

Soon the aides were scrambling about for more paper. The alien’s aides gratefully accepted the reams of paper and the President accepted more gold in return. So much gold he was breathless. It could pay for a lot of discretionary projects.

The alien seemed breathless as well. As if the paper was worth as much as the gold.

They exchanged contact information, and soon the alien was on its way back home.