The ghost will come for me tonight.

To survive, I need that gallon of bleach.

Mix it with the blood of cock, a cow’s liver, and a cat’s furball.

Then, pour it in the bathtub and fill the rest of the way up with hot water.

Yes, the fumes are toxic, but better alive than dead.

Plus, I can leave the fan on for ventilation.

As the cashier rang me up, my survival plan reiterated in my head for the fiftieth time.

I hugged the gallon jug of bleach on my way home as passerby’s glanced curiously at me.