Every morning it’s the same. I don’t know why I do it. My friend Billy swears that it’s for attention.

One triple shot espresso, two teaspoons of sugar and gulp it down while it’s hot enough to dissolve an asbestos drainpipe. Forty five seconds later the massive rush of caffeine and sugar goes straight to my head and then drains all the blood to my racing heart. I pass out.

I come too and she’s cradling my head in her lap as I lay on the floor.

“Not again Bertie,” she says, softly.

Why can't I just ask her out?