Breathe.

I tell myself every time I have a flashback

Breathe.

I remind myself every time I feel like there’s no air.

Breathe.

Is what I try to do but I cant, not anymore.

He haunted my memories, he made me a ticking time bomb, he holds the face that I see everywhere, the face that reminds me that I am horrible, I am guilty, I should be ashamed.

My fault, it’s my fault is all that I know and all I will ever know.

I see the part of me who now is lost forever, the man who got away with a piece of my soul, the man who makes me want to die and makes me wish I got stabbed, the man that makes me hate my self, the man who makes me wish I get ruthlessly slaughtered and undone until there is nothing left because that is what I deserve.

He’s not a man, he’s a monster, I should know that but I don’t.

He is a man who created a monster, he created me.