“Honey it’s time for school”.

I hear my mom say, as my wonder filled eyes flutter open.

For a moment I lay there.

Staring at the ceiling.

As a swell and ache fill my tummy with worry.

“Sweetie you’re gonna be late, please hurry”.

As I register the shouting coming from my mom, I sit on the edge of my bed and contemplate.

Contemplate whether I’m gonna be difficult or easy to send off to school this morning.

After working up the courage to actually leave my bed.

I think of all the people I’ll see today, all of what might be said.

As I look in the mirror and try to make myself presentable.

All I can focus on is the nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Will they like me?

Will I fit in?

I’ve had a lot of first days of school, at a lot of different schools and the same feeling always occurs.

Anxiousness.

As I slouch and cower within the back of my backpack, I thump down the stairs of our new and unfamiliar home.

At the bottom of the stairs my mom is waiting for me ,I’m met with a positive smile.

My mom says “it’s a fresh start bean, it’ll be great”.

A fresh start huh? A clean slate.

I’ve had a lot of fresh starts, they all usually become rather dull very shortly.

We make our way to my moms mini van, as I step in and take a seat, I begin to fidget and slightly tweak with my converse clad feet.

I fasten my seatbelt, I slightly angle my body towards the window to get a good view of the drive.

Maybe the scenic views will settle my stomach.

I feverishly pick at the skin around my finger nails, once I see we’re nearing the schools front entrance.

My mom gets out and opens the door for me, I step out and my legs almost buckle from feeling like jelly.

I ready myself and take a more confident stance, my mom although still positive, shoots me a worried glance.

I reassure her with a smile and a wave goodbye.

Before I know it, I’m all alone and my moms already driven away.

As I take my first step within the school doors I think to myself, another new school I hope this time I get to stay. I hope I have a good day.