Now this is my kind of writing
I’m glad to be able to read this beauty.
Since it’s so similar to my own kind of style, I’ll definitely be giving feedback as requested, and it’s definitely gonna be biased towards my own style (but I suppose I can’t help that haha)
Structure:
Rhyme scheme as follows-
Stanza 1:
ABCS
Stanza 2:
AABA
Stanza 3:
ABCB
Stanza 4:
A-ABCB
The rhyme-scheme is only consistent in the latter half, and becomes more anarchical the further back you go.
However, this doesn’t coincide with the writing. You can split your writing in two distinct sections; These are section 1 (stanzas 1-3) and section 2 (stanza 4)
Section 1 and 2 have distinct themes, 1 being questioning and philosophical, 2 being conclusive and serving to answer section 1 (while leaving it suitable unanswered)
It would have been better if your Rhyme-scheme matched the shift between the two semantic fields which are created within the sections, or to have no constant rhyme-scheme- or no rhyme-scheme at all.
You make good use of the rule of three for the first stanza, opening the poem powerfully when you repeat “perhaps I am,” which I definitely like!
This couples well with the consistent theme of the poem and the repeated use of the phrase “I am,” coincidentally also used in three groups throughout the whole poem, once a group of three, then two, then one.”
This may or may not have been intentional but it’s an amazing use of the rule of threes alone!
There’s not much more to say on structure, consistent groups of four lines per stanza minus the last having a fifth opening, being monosyllabic as not to waste time but provide a pause between sections. Expertly done, and I love it.
Narrative Voice:
Your Narrative Voice is very consistent throughout the poem, though there’s not much to work with
Although that’s okay, there doesn’t need to be much- subtlety is fine.
The narrative voice too is very well made for the topic at hand, so congratulations to that.
Generally a very good poem in a style I love!
Very good, Abi!
