People wonder why my pillow is wet and damp. People wonder why I just keep my mouth shut. People wonder why I seem depressed. People wonder this and that and blame and judge yet they have no clue about anything. They get so blindsided by the outside of me yet they don’t care about the inside of me. They care about the tears but they don’t care about the reason for them. They care enough to ask the questions but they don’t care enough for the response. They wonder why, about everything yet it’s perfectly clear!

“Why are you so sad?” They ask.

“It’s nothing,” I’ll reply. Oh no, it’s definitely not the fact that the person I hate and you know I hate is your best friend! That doesn’t make me feel bad because I’m not a human to you. I’m just a little pawn in your stupid game. It definitely makes me feel super great! So great that I cry every night wondering what I did to deserve to be treated like shit. To be left out by people who I thought were my true friends. I never did anything to deserve the pain, yet that bitch did everything she could to make my life miserable, and everyone likes her! And I am so kind to everyone and I try to be a strong person but sometimes I break. The people who try the hardest to love and care for others never get that in return. I feel like I want to disappear but the truth is I want to be found. Well no, I want to find someone. I want to find someone who actually cares about me, not the people who don’t! Screw those jackasses! They don’t care about me! So why should I care about them! If I don’t care though, I’m going to get judged for not caring even though the people judging don’t even care. You know what, I’m done trying for people! In my time of losing all of my friends, I’ve realized that I enjoy being by myself more. That I didn’t need them to begin with I just thought I did. Just rid yourself of the fakers! It’s what I’m going to do, because here is what they all say, “I’m not a traitor. I was never on your side.”