We live in a land where the footprints of ghosts linger.

We live in a place where spirits roam free.

We live in a time where nothing is ever forgotten.

We live in the memories of the past.

We live in a mindset of regret.

We live without hope, hapiness, joy and instead,

We live in our fears and anger.

We live in the built up bubble of hate, and instead of coming together,

We live in isolation.

For we cannot just live,

But we have to experience.

Living doesn’t matter,

If we don’t know how to live.

Blurred visions. Can’t tell real from fake. People or demons? Questions unanswerable.

How to get by, When I’m a swirl and a mess. I just can’t seem, To open my eyes.

I feel the depression. The anxiety. The sleepless nights. The tears.

One day I opened my eyes. You wouldn’t believe what I saw. I saw a fake and a lier, Trying to hurt me in secret.

Weakness. Vulnerability. Talking to much. Thats what I do.

It’s probably why she did it. Take advantage of me. Hurt me til I broke. All the things she doesn’t know.

Friends hurt and break you. School involves stress and no sleep. Parents don’t understand. Everyone is fighting a mental war.

Some are fighting a physical war. I’m fighting both, And I’m not winning. I’m losing a piece of myself everyday.

My hype and fun personality, Is turning into a sad and quiet one. How happy I used to be. It’s all gone.

There’s no one to truly trust, Or that can know anything. Life in general is so hard. Why is there no one who gets it?

You know you betrayed me. And you know it hurt. I feel like I’m drowning in the sea, My sight is blurred.

You wanted to do it. You wanted me as an example. You knew how to hit, And you left me to scramble.

Scrambling for friends. Scrambling for acceptance. I’m left at the end, Wanting vengeance.

So tell me, what was the point? What was the reason? Was it to disappoint? Was it demons?

I just need why? Why you chose this way? Why do you cry, When you don’t have to stay?

Rejection. I feel it. Inflection. Oh, shit.

Why? What did I do to you? I just wanna die, Cause I thought I knew.

I thought you would never leave, But I guess I was wrong. You made me believe, That I was truly strong.

That is until you hit me, And showed that I’m not. Then you left me, And I was caught.

Caught mid tears. Caught in your rejection. You gave me a reason to fear, Now I got depression.

My parents are gone. I’m here standing at there gravestones. I had to wake up a dawn, Just to watch tears fall down my cheekbones.

To listen to them speak, And to act like I don’t miss them. But the truth is I’m just weak, And I can’t go back to how things have been.

The waves of emotion swung over me, And the pain was very clear. I wish I didn’t let this be, I just wish they were here.

How can I ever fill the hole, That is now in my heart? What will happen to my soul, which is now broken into parts.

Please mom and dad, Just give me a sign. I’m really just so sad. I never wanted to say goodbye.

When all hope fails, what do we rely on?

People rely on drugs, Alcohol, Social media, God.

I turn to the sky, The water, The stars, The pictures of you.

I turn to my parents gravestones, Talking to them. I turn to the rain and thunder, The lighting flashing.

I turn to the moon And tears that reflect my story. I turn to the mirror, All in hopes I might change.

I turn to my bed and sleep, Hoping my dreams will save me. I turn to my thoughts, Of when everything was fine.

I turn to the memories with just us. I turn to the peacefulness of life. The love that isn’t gone, But not apparent.

I turn to demons, hoping that they are angels. They never are though. They never will be. The nights of loneliness.

The fears of when I am alone, Someone is there, unknowingly. The fears of when I’m not alone, That all of the sudden I will be.

I turn to everything but what I need to. Everything else that doesn’t matter. Everything like that gun. Everything like that bottle of medicine.

All I need is you. For you to come back. I need to not turn to the hope I lost, But to hope that I will have hope again.

In the heart of the city, Under the neon lights, Our paths crossed, Igniting endless nights.

Meeting for dinner, At that nice, little pizza place. The lights seemed to shimmer, Abroad your fine, clean cut, beautiful face.

As we laughed through the night, I noticed your dimples from your smile. It seemed like love at first sight, It felt like more than a while.

I wanted this moment forever. I want to be with just him. I wanted to just surrender, And let love take the win.

I stopped in my tracks. I could hear two students talking but it didn’t seem positive. Me and my teacher instincts stopped before turning the corner, to not eavesdrop but to, you know, listen to there troubling conversation. “I don’t know if I can trust you,” one stated. “Look, I’m always here for you. You can tell me,” she responded. There was a pause of silence. “Ok, I guess,” the other added. There was another pause. “Well, my parents just got a uh, divorce. And um, after, a few days ago, my mom, died in a car crash.” I heard a small gasp. “Yeah, I know it’s a lot. I just, want to die and join her sometimes. My dad isn’t handling her death very well, even though they were divorced. I’m pretty sure he’s on some drugs.” Once again, silence. I assumed the other girl listening was giving her a tight hug. I would. “I’m so sorry,” the other girl replied. “No one should have to go through that.” I bit my nails wondering what to do. Should I go up to them and ask if I could do anything to help her situation? Oh wait, what if she realizes, I mean thinks I was eavesdropping on her, which I totally wasn’t. But I can’t just leave her alone to struggle like that. Oh, what to do.

Covid how could you? You took my smell and my taste. Oh, what am I going to do? I feel like waste.

I used to love the smells. That’s why I started the shop. But I guess I have to say my farewells, I guess I have to stop.

The nice and warm feelings, I get in that store. Seeing the beautiful ceilings, I don’t see anymore.

Stuck in my bed, I feel miserable and tired. Covid has left me in dread, I am here uninspired.

Is it permanent? Will my smell come back? Or am I like an ornament, That falls and then breaks, just like that?

Will my customers be gone? Will my store close down? And then at the break of dawn, Will I not be found?

I am tired and weak. I feel no softness. I cannot even speak, Without feeling hopeless.

She dunk her hand inside the tank and my eyes filled with fear. She sloshed the water out trying to clutch the poor fish struggling to get away. “Hey, Chloe!,” I started. She just darted her eyes over to me. “What?” She exclaims. “What do you mean what? That’s my goldfish! Stop trying to take it out of the tank!” I add. She kept swishing her hand around in the water and scrunching her nose up. I paced towards her trying to grip her arm so maybe she would stop. She finally snatched the fish from its tail in between her thumb and pointer finger and waved it around in my face. I screamed as she tried to make it touch my face. As I jerked away she flung the fish across the room and screamed. “Ewwwww!” She squealed. “It started wriggling!” I rolled my eyes and stood up straight to scan the room. I started to anxiously search all around and I heard her chuckling. Grrr, she got on my nerves. All I knew was that the goldfish was dead for sure.