Woke up this morning

Fell straight out of bed

Sprained my ankle

And hit my head

Burnt my toast

Scolded my hand with my tea

Bloody Hell!

It's Friday the 13th

My car broke down on the way to work

My tyre went flat on a roundabout

Everyone was beeping their horns

I felt a right twerk

My stapler broke

The photocopier was jammed

My wife forgot to make my lunch

I went to the nearest Greggs

All they had was plain ham.

Why must there be this supernatural occurrence

Every so often it comes around

This superstitious nonsense

Makes me dumbfound

Hopefully tomorrow will be alright

With this banging headache

I'll try and sleep tight

Roll on Saturday the 14tth

When nothing can happen

If I have a lie in?