I remember when I was maybe six years old

I would sneak junk food into my room tiptoeing down the stairs to the kitchen then I’d turn and move like the flash and shut the door

I think it was for me to feel like maybe my mom was listening and paying attention to my footsteps running up and down the stairs. I could pretend I had super powers too.

In reality I could have screamed at the top of my lungs and throwing my markers or stomping so hard it could cause an earthquake. When I got to 10 years old I started to wish maybe there would be a random earthquake in Alabama where I lived with my mom. I could jsut fall through the cracks. Really I’d just pray for a tornado at least maybe I’d fly and have fun and not been invisible for one minute of my life thus far.

I say lived with but really she lived by herself in her locked bedroom. I had the whole house to myself to play or do whatever I wanted.

Because I was invisible in that home.

The only thing I wanted was my mom to come play outside with me or cook me dinner or watch cartoons and build a fort.

Instead the alcohol she drank had a magic trick of its own. a trick that made her forget that I was in that big house to. I remember slamming knocking on her door she was usually knocked out that’s what her drinking power gave her either the ability to yell and call me horrible things or the ability to fall asleep for hours.

But her super hero.. or super villain I should say power she injested took an affect on me. Invisibility to where I wondered if I’d have anyone to care for me.

Sure those were dark days and as a I grew into a teen I lashed out more poured that horrible super villain power liquid down the sink not caring if she would yell or hold me down.

At least I wasn’t invisible then. Was it better to be left alone wondering why she didn’t want to spend time with me. Or was it better to fight back and have her blame me for her life being bad and making realize she wish I actually was invisible more than that.. not real.

But you learn a lot if you deal with your problems I don’t feel as invisible especially in crowds anymore. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. But when I hear a passerber say they wish their super power was to be invisible I would feel my heart sink. Because trust me. No one was meant to feel invisible or lonely on this earth.

This story has a happy ending I’m no longer invisible but my mothers alcohol problem is