Just love writing even though I’m not the best . So decided to join and I love doing poetry prompts. Read my stuff if ya want I don’t have much yet as I just found this app a couple of days ago. Oh and hello fellow creatives :)
Just love writing even though I’m not the best . So decided to join and I love doing poetry prompts. Read my stuff if ya want I don’t have much yet as I just found this app a couple of days ago. Oh and hello fellow creatives :)
My Granny always told me stop running out the door to play in this chilly weather without your jacket on; I don’t want you getting sick
But as a kid nothing phased us so I would tell her “stop being silly” and giggle before she told me again it’s not silly little girl it’s chilly so please bundle up
My Granny always told me don’t jump as high as you can on the trampoline you’ll fall and hurt yourself
But granny it doesn’t hurt see look I’m right back up and then I’d run around and do it again.
My granny always told me she wished my mother would treat me better that out of us four cousins two of us had alcoholic mothers
But granny my mom always buys me things to cheer me up and she apologizes when she yells at me and calls me names
And my granny would always tell me I wish you could live with me so I can protect you from getting hurt you always run and scream when your mom comes to get you
Then years went by and as I got older things change a bit
I tell my granny put on some shoes with grip so you don’t fall down anymore you can’t walk well on your own especially in slippers which I can’t get you out of
And my granny would smile and say yeah I know you are right and she would let me grab her hand and help her to her chair to sit
I keep telling my granny stop letting her daughter yell and drink in your house and that I wish she’d stop calling her names
Granny would look sad every time but slightly smile and say she’s your aunt and one of my two daughters that still come to see me
And I telll her I’d see her every single day if I could and she smiles knowingly and thanks me for taking care of the house for her when she isn’t able to stay on her feet long to clean and cook as long as she used to
And I always tell her you never have to thank me you are my granny and you did everything for me growing up and now I understand because I love doing everything for you now
I remember when I was maybe six years old I would sneak junk food into my room tiptoeing down the stairs to the kitchen then I’d turn and move like the flash and shut the door
I think it was for me to feel like maybe my mom was listening and paying attention to my footsteps running up and down the stairs. I could pretend I had super powers too.
In reality I could have screamed at the top of my lungs and throwing my markers or stomping so hard it could cause an earthquake. When I got to 10 years old I started to wish maybe there would be a random earthquake in Alabama where I lived with my mom. I could jsut fall through the cracks. Really I’d just pray for a tornado at least maybe I’d fly and have fun and not been invisible for one minute of my life thus far.
I say lived with but really she lived by herself in her locked bedroom. I had the whole house to myself to play or do whatever I wanted.
Because I was invisible in that home. The only thing I wanted was my mom to come play outside with me or cook me dinner or watch cartoons and build a fort.
Instead the alcohol she drank had a magic trick of its own. a trick that made her forget that I was in that big house to. I remember slamming knocking on her door she was usually knocked out that’s what her drinking power gave her either the ability to yell and call me horrible things or the ability to fall asleep for hours.
But her super hero.. or super villain I should say power she injested took an affect on me. Invisibility to where I wondered if I’d have anyone to care for me.
Sure those were dark days and as a I grew into a teen I lashed out more poured that horrible super villain power liquid down the sink not caring if she would yell or hold me down.
At least I wasn’t invisible then. Was it better to be left alone wondering why she didn’t want to spend time with me. Or was it better to fight back and have her blame me for her life being bad and making realize she wish I actually was invisible more than that.. not real.
But you learn a lot if you deal with your problems I don’t feel as invisible especially in crowds anymore. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. But when I hear a passerber say they wish their super power was to be invisible I would feel my heart sink. Because trust me. No one was meant to feel invisible or lonely on this earth.
This story has a happy ending I’m no longer invisible but my mothers alcohol problem is
You were my best friend for several years of my life I didn’t put it together during those times that I would end up your wife But did I cross the line? Yes we were happy and I got pregnant and we were in love I know we were
But sometimes love are two different things when in reality you were in love with me yes but not the same we wished for So on that day I changed everything should I not have crossed the line?
The last day you moved out of our college apartment where we were just friends Do you think it should have just been left at that?
even though I saw you almost every day with all our friends I called you and finally the night came when i dared to face my courage But was it worth it? Was it worth it that I crossed the line?
We started dating and it was perfect as well as I thought it should be and how you thought it should be too. Our child came into this world and I began to believe No I didn’t cross the line we didn’t did we?
But a year down the road we were different people and you wanted another and how could I make you stay Yes we have a child together and are both in his lives I talked to you a while back telling you I still wondered why I called you that day 11 years ago to came clean about how I felt. To finally cross that line
The turmoil and agony and depression and tears and tears and feeling like love was wasted why did I do that? You looked me in the eye and said I thank God you crossed the line If I saw you beside it and saw I couldn’t cross it I would’ve pulled you right over it
You see we needed each other at the time and we needed to grow up and understand why the line didn’t last permanently in ink but it was a line we could jump over and it was that line that gave us a son
Don’t anyone dare to be too scared of failure and heartache by staying inside that lined circled comfort zone
I couldn’t help but smile because even though those years ago we crossed the wrong line we both crossed the right one and both of us our happy in our lives today
(Sorry for it not being the best I think I may have crossed the line .. or is it jumpin the gun? Haha wrote this just now when I should be getting ready to leave ahhhhh)
On one particular warm summer evening
I convince myself to sit outside and actually allow myself to take notice of the sunset
I admire the beautiful pink and orange hues in the sky. I take a deep breath and smile
I then start to feel myself slowly relax. I allow myself to be comforted by the sun’s peaceful view and how I long for it to stay But, of course, it doesn’t take me long to fall in disquietude as I watch the evil, taunting moon come to take the suns place just like it always does.
I unnervingly start hearing a faint whisper in the sky with super chillingly sounds and winds like it is coming from the lowering sun itself. It’s probably all in my head, but apprehension has already set inside my mind and I hear the faint words of the disappearing sun grow a tad stronger
It seems to be telling the moon it’s now her turn to come out and rule the night without the suns bright colors interfering. So, yet again My safety blanket gets yanked away and is replaced by my agonizing paranoia that the fading sun always brings.
I know that darkness is coming as it always does. I can tell the night sky senses my dread as if the voidless light is feeding off the intense jittery panic I could feel right when I heard the Sun beckon the moon awake. Yet, I’m still sitting on the step realizing that I am alone from the Sun yet again
An uneasy sense of loneliness slips into my mind and starts to taunt my fretful heart When I look out and see the darkness of the sky, I can’t help but wonder if this is it for me. If the moon and the dark quiet night is finally ready to take my sanity away for good
Nighttime equals isolation and the fear brings out immense distress I try to turn my focus on the few happy thoughts that should be somewhere in my mind but of course the moon knows the routine as I have come to learn it.
I try to pray but I know the void of darkness loves to steal even the least of my favorite thoughts and memories , which unfortunately are nearing the end supply
My brain is screaming at me to run a different way but I hear the maniac cackling up above knowing I’d have no where else to stray
Nighttime equals loneliness to me the fear brings out distress. In these moments I’m not scared of ghosts, or random creatures of the night. No, my fear is of being alone with my own terrorizing thoughts which is what paralyzes me each time the sun departs
Maybe tomorrow night I’ll finally conquer the fear of my own mind instead of being stuck in these horrifying thoughts, restless and hiding from the moon. Perhaps she is misunderstood and lonely as I.
