The lone man walked across the flaming fields. He spotted a shadow on the ground, traveling in lazy circles. Covering his eyes with one hand he looked up.

“Hey, Brad! Over here!” He yelled at the flying demon, who swooped down and gave him five.

“What’s up dude, when’s the meeting?”

Jesus furrowed his brow, “What meeting?”

The spirit shook his head in amazement, “You’re meeting Satan, the tormentor of souls, the most dreaded being in the universe, who is taking you to heaven himself, yet you forget you have a meeting with him?”

“Well shit man, when you say it like that you make me sound stupid or something.”

Brad laughed and shoved him over, “You are stupid.”

Jesus chuckled as he held out a hand for Brad to help him get up. What he didn’t notice in his mirth was the demon’s face light up when their hands touched. Or maybe he did.

The pair were an odd sight to see, if any of the mortals had eyes that hadn’t been plucked out had seen them. As they traversed across the levels of hell, anyone could see that they were close as, well, hell. Well, again anyone who wasn’t screaming in pain at the time.

They walked for hours, talking, laughing, bumping into each other on occasion, and listening to the symphony of screams echoing around them.

The couple seemed casual and lazy, but both knew that they were avoiding the inevitable, eventually pulling up just outside of Lucifer’s castle.

“Well this is me,” Jesus nervously stammered, lightly tugging on his beard.

“Um, good luck with everything I guess.”

“Thank you”

They stood there for several painful moments before a choked up Jesus pulled Brad into a hug.

“Try to to keep my memory alive down here alright?”

“How could I ever forget you?” The demon whispered, his hot breath sending a shiver down the messiah’s spine. Suddenly Brad gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and took off.

“Well that was unnecessarily sexual,” the deep voice of the Devil uttered behind the breathless man.

Jesus spun around in panic, “Oh shit, how much did you see? Don’t tell mom!”

“That you’re a raging homosexual?” Lucifer’s laugh boomed. “Don’t worry about it, we’re not exactly on speaking terms.”

“Let’s just get this over with,” Jesus sighed and held his arms out, ready to be taken into the cold world of “heaven.”

“Put your damn hands down.” Lucifer snapped. “Let’s make a deal hmm? I’ll let you stay down here...and you stay and torture souls in the fields?”

“And why would you do that?”

“It’s perfect! All these souls pray to you, beg you for favors in return for their ‘belief,’” he spat, “and what would be the most crushing thing to see in hell? Their savior working for Satan himself.”

Jesus raised a brow.

“And what can I say?” Lucifer laughed as he rocked back onto his heels, “I’m a sucker for a good love story.”