I’ve been feeling out of place lately

More than usual.

And my behaviors are exaggerated

And I’m even more obsessive.

There’s not a diagnosis for it,

I’m just weird.

Strange.

Abnormal.

I don’t understand myself.

I don’t understand my behaviors.

I don’t understand my choices.

A lot of the times I don’t feel like myself.

Like when I get all energetic and jump around,

And laugh so easily at every little thing,

But it only lasts like an hour.

And I get that it’s fun. Sure.

But it doesn’t feel like me.

But if it’s happening more and more often,

When do I have to change the definition?

I don’t know anymore.

It’s that little girl in my mind,

With all those thoughts and feelings,

Fighting to come out sometimes.

Making me look like a fool.

I just feel silly.

Doesn’t she know that it’s not her world anymore?

It’s not her place?

I am still a child, I know that,

And when I feel like me I feel like one too,

But this little girl…

She’s something different.

She makes me feel loopy,

Like all the shapes in the world are stretched out or on their sides.

Maybe I’m just sleep deprived.

Maybe all those hours staying up are coming back to bite me.

Maybe she is just who I am stripped down to my core,

And I miss all the little layers.

I miss all the little layers.