I have a time piece that I wear.
Other people may be aware of it,
But they cannot see it,
And I feel it on my wrist,
Around my neck,
And in my head.
It ticks incessantly.
That’s why I can’t be alone,
Why I can’t handle the quiet.
It’s at its loudest when there are no other sounds to drown it out.
It’s been particularly loud lately.
I think someone’s been messing with the gears.
I love hanging ou...
De-mon-ic.
I sound it out slowly,
In my head,
With emphasis.
Like hellspawn.
And I don’t believe in hell as a place,
But I believed in you as a person.
From this distance it looks the same.
Snake,
Ghost,
Lily of the valley.
A pretty flower.
A poisonous one too.
Most people don’t know that.
I didn’t either,
That is until the after you.
The aftermath of you.
It was like I had been rampaged.
There w...
I’m humming in my head,
Conducting an imaginary orchestra.
Arbitrarily moving my hands,
Typing out the words most present in my mind.
I look like a mad woman.
I feel like a mad woman.
My emotions have the range of Jekyll and Hyde.
I am anxious,
I am paralyzed.
I don’t understand why I can’t move.
It is unclear what I want.
Without this strong desire I stay still on the couch.
Without any movement ...
I see people on the internet,
Talking about tactics of manipulation,
To get a guy obsessed with them or something.
I don’t think it’s funny,
I don’t think it’s cool.
I have been on the receiving end.
This does not breed happiness.
I just really fucking hate you.
I wonder if that’s where you got your material from.
It felt awfully familiar.
You’re never too young to meet an emotional abuser.
The h...
I feel on edge when I’m around her now.
It was just one mistake,
One mistake I tell myself.
Only it wasn’t a mistake.
But she’s so kind,
I tell myself.
The other girl was kind too.
The other girl was just as beloved.
The other girl started out just like this,
And the other girl murdered me,
Went to my funeral,
Gave her condolences.
I wont go through that again.
I can avoid her.
Things don’t have ...
I have to check that you’re not in the store before I walk in
Because we used to spend our afternoons sitting there together,
When I thought we were happy,
And when I still convinced myself that it was healthy.
When you convinced me I was happy.
But you didn’t want me to be happy.
You never wanted anything good for me.
You were my divine punishment
For a crime I didn’t commit,
But I was always on...
I read an article,
About emotional abuse in friendships and it
reminded me a lot of you.
I showed it to my mother and she said
The resemblance was scary.
For a second I thought about unblocking your number
Just to send it to you,
Caption it “It made me think of you”
And then block your number before I could get a response.
But I didn’t send it,
Cause I won’t cause a scene.
And while moving on is ...
what do you say to someone who attacked you,
Not for any specific attributes,
but for who you are as a person?
What do you do when they attack the quality of your character?
i could destroy her if I wanted to…
i really could.
i could turn this into an all out war.
But,
friend.
she is my friend.
the word means something to me,
she meant something to me…
What am I supposed to do,
When I valued her o...
You know,
Those words you said…
I was joking,
I thought we were playing around,
But you sounded like you meant them.
I didn’t know that you felt that way…
I had been on my way to the bathroom just for a tissue,
But when I got there I just sat for a while.
I’m not sure how long.
I had joked that your British accent was bad
And then you basically said I like to diminish other people
Because I’m ins...
A r e y o u r e a l ?
Were you some kind of
T o r t u r e ?
You were torture…
But for what R e a s o n ?
I ask,
W h y m e ?
I ask if you are still
O u t t h e r e ,
How can this _thing_
Be H u m a n ?
How are you
HAPPY ?
And I know that you’re probably not happy.
But you got off Scott free, and it isn’t enough.
Because I can’t imagine that whatever you went throu...
