“I need to confess something… I did it. Now, can you please pass the wine?”

“No Daisy not you.”

“Yes Dan it was me. Now pass the wine please.”

“Daisy say it ain’t so?”

“Yes Uncle Robert, it’s true. Now someone pass the wine.”

“By the heavens, my dear child, have you no shame?”

“No Aunt Beatrice, no shame here. Pass the wine please.”

“My little girl, oh my little girl.”

“It’s alright sweetheart, we’ll get through this.”

“Mom, Dad, stop being so dramatic. Pass the wine.”

“Sister, my sweet sister… not you.”

“Not you too Mark! Just stop it! Now someone pass the wine!”

“The shame, the almighty shame!!”

“Grandma… it’s… oh for the love of…. Yes I farted. Yes it was loud and yes it smelt like a dying pig in a manure field but it’s a natural function of the human body and I am not ashamed of it. Now… someone better pass that damned wine to me before I do something you’ll really be ashamed of.”

“Here you go my darling.”

“Thanks Grandpa.”

“And for the record… it was a really good one. I’m so proud!”

“Oh Grandpa…”