I walk into the classroom, words circling my head as the feelings I had let build up, consume me.

I knew I liked this guy, I have for years every time we were in the same classes, or when I danced with him at the freshman prom because he was lonesome, so many connections have been made, yet I was so afraid to act.

He was at the end of a long ending relationship, it was crumbling to pieces and at this point there was no salvation, shitty of me to want my best friends man right, or so I thought so.

I sit down against the bookshelf and my friend approaches me about the topic, she knows the state of mind I was in and the fact that I was talking to a much older man, who was not right for me.

She asks me, “between the two, who do you actually love”

The response rolled off my tongue in seconds as I dawdle on about how this kid I’ve know for years was my flame, the person I felt connected to more than anything.

I would fight for him, be there for him, and generally and wholeheartedly worship him.

She advises me to let him know, before it’s too late, and as a great mentor advises, a great pupil follows.

At the end of the day I approach near the trees and without any warning blurts “it’s pretty fucking obvious that I like you right?”

And as eerie as it felt, time stops as I wait for my answer , my heart pacing, and my brain lecturing me about how there was much better ways to go about it.

What he quipped, tore me a bit, “ I like you a lot but there’s someone else”

There’s always someone else, turns out it was the friend who told me to confess. Nevertheless I hope their happy, that’s all I ever wanted for him, and one day I hope that’s what he wants for me.