My breathing is heavy.

Unsteady.

I feel small,

Begging myself to not bawl.

Something in my chest coils around me,

And I can’t see.

My vision blurs

Something inside me stirs.

I reach

Feeling each…

Each wall

Each hall.

Each forestall.

Everything pressing in

Smashing into my skin.

I fall.

Needing to be small.

Curl up

Don’t look up

Don’t reach up

For the sun isn’t there.

For the people don’t care.

I am broken beyond repair.

I feel a hand in my back

And I crack.

My sobs are too loud

Booming off the crowd

That has formed around me.

I need to flee.

I shouldn’t be crying.

I shouldn’t be hiding.

The hand strokes up to my hair.

I can’t take in any air.

The hand drags me to my feet.

I can’t be discreet.

The hand whispers in my ear.

I can’t hear.

I’m taking up too much space

I’m out of place

I stumble

And mumble

And tumble

And crumble

I tell myself I’m fine

Though there’s no clear line

Between what I should

And shouldn’t.

I should disappear

I shouldn’t be here

I should dry my eyes

I shouldn’t be the reason of the cries

I should die

I shouldn’t try

I should

I shouldn’t

I should…

I exhale

I reach

Look up

Feel the sun brushing my cheek

Spread my arms

And realize

That I am fine

Everything in better

Outside.