Its not fear I smell, it’s future

Even that sentence is complicated

I fear itself and the future

I didn’t realize how much I ran on that

Fear based ideology

Fear based choices

How do you even unlearn that?

I feel like this situation between the two of us is teaching me how to unlearn

Almost forcing the hand

My hand

To unlearn what my father taught me all those years ago

That’s why things are a little difficult with you

I’m learning to slowly step out and trust

Trust a man again

After all these years of the same types of men

who wanted to break my spirit

Break me as a human

I learned early on

To be wary of men

Because they let you down

To not trust the future with them

It’s definitely something I have to break

My only hope at this point for the future is that you don’t turn out to be the same

I don’t want to be afraid of the future with you.