Day 214,

I am on my last can of beans. Should I save it for another time? Am I really hungry?

Day 217,

I’ve searched five stores 28 kilometers from me and haven’t found a single ration of food. I don’t care if it’s a can of tomatoes. My stomach will consume anything at this point. Please God, help me find something.

Day 221,

Here I stand, in front of my childhood home. What was once memorable to live in, is now filled with a hellish doom.

Day 226,

My boots are ripping at the seams. The bottom of my feet feel as though they’re walking across a hot surface.

Day 230,

Damn I’m tired. If it wasn’t for the sweet taste of hardened bread, I’d probably drop dead by now.

Day 235,

As I make it from point A, to B, to C, and D, I’m being met with less and less food. Not a single survivor in sight as I walk these horrid streets.

Day 239,

I grew reckless today. I entered a gun shop without scanning the area. Two walkers lay stiff in the managers office. I place my knife on the desk as I search for anything useful. Thankfully, this person was a health nut as I hold 4 bars of nutri grain.

I stick my hand further into the drawer and it got stuck. Ha! Can you believe it?

Not only does life like throwing shit at me, the two walkers who were sleeping, rose from their spots.

I tugged on my arm until I was sure my flesh would come off.

Nothing.

I closed my eyes to accept my sealed fate.

Apparently, God wasn’t ready to welcome me into his kingdom. Just as I gave up hope, the two approaching walkers were brutally killed. Mortal Kombat style. I looked up to my savior, ready to say a word of thanks.

My lips couldn’t form words as I’m faced with the last person on earth I wanted to see.

My former molester of a teacher.

Day 246,

He continues to follow me, even after my attempts to take his life.

Day 250,

He pulled me through a crowd of hungry walkers as we ran into an abandoned hotel.

I immediately dropped my hand as we were safe inside.

If this place is empty, it looks like this will be our new home. For now.

Day 262,

I hate to admit it, but this bastard is great at finding supplies. I find it unfair that he comes across supplies so easily, while my luck flushed down the drain.

It almost feels like these items….

Day 270,

Today is the day him and I share a grown up conversation. The first topic of discussion is why he chose to destroy the image of my sophomore year? Throughout his years of teaching, was I the only one? Is he sorry because of guilt, or because we could possibly die together?

Day 278,

I extend my hand out for him to shake. He gave me the last of his remaining bullets, which saved my life in the end. He missed dinner for two days to assure I had enough to eat, and he used himself as bait to lure out the walkers.

He is still an asshole, but not a huge one.

Day 284,

Who knew that playing 21 questions was such a learning experience? For the first time since the world went to hell, I found myself genuinely laughing.

Day 290,

After thirteen years, I step foot on school grounds. I halt in my steps, toning out my name being screamed as walkers surrounded us. He pulls my hand as we run to the entrance.

I yank away and shake my head. Although all seemed forgiven, I can’t completely erase all that’s happened. My innocence wasn’t stolen once or twice. It’s not a matter I cam forget over beer and wings. It’s not an action I can forgive during this apocalyptic moment.

We’re running out of time. I know this. But, I can’t step foot inside the school.

I hand over my gun, backpack, and the map.

He tries to argue with me, but the walkers are zeroing in. I shove him ahead, screaming that I’ll be fine.

After one final glance, he rushes inside. I use my trusty knife to pierce the skulls of these flesh eating creatures.

From a distance, I can feel his eyes linger on me.

Forgiveness is what I can’t give.

My parents died in front of me, my boyfriend sacrificed himself for me, I had to kill my dog who was bitten, my best friend went missing during the 10th day of the pandemic, I ran into the man who brought pain in my life at a young age, and now… I just want to be free.