I didn’t want to go to school today so I pretended to be sick. I poured the glass of four-day old milk on my carpet, in the toilet and a little bit on me. Now I just need to go and show my mummy and daddy.

Yayyy... they let me have the day off. I can now watch my tv and watch iCarly all day. I can’t wait for today and thank goodness it’s a Friday because it means I can have a three-day weekend. Woohoo!!! Goodbye everyone I am now going to my room to watch my tv and pig out on loads and loads of sweeties and chocolates!

These stinking people on my tv have no idea what they are talking about. Honestly it sounds like they are making it all up as they go along. Yeah right, like those shampoos and conditioners actually make your hair look like that. I don’t believe that for a second. What do these people think I am... a teenager. Haha I don’t think so. But seriously do these people actually think that people believe everything they are saying. But how would I know I’m an old fart who that just bought a new phone after using my flip phone for over fifty years and I have no idea what I’m doing with it.

Humans should really start appreciating us pets more because we do so much for them. We sit when they tell us to sit. We go toilet when they tell us to go toilet. We sit on their lap when they tell us to. We don’t put up a fuss to go to the vets or to be groomed if they take us. We cuddle with them when they want to because they’re cold or lonely or sad. We play fetch with them when they’re in the mood for it. Honestly they are lucky to have us. And they don’t do much to say thank you. How dare they sit in that sofa, in front of that tv, eating the plate of left over chicken from last nights dinner, and not give us any. Surely we deserve that. Well actually we deserve more than that.

Well I guess we can’t say that humans are always selfish and blind because they can be very nice and unselfish sometimes. I do love my humans and I know that they really do love me too.