Did you notice that I’m gone?

That recently I don’t reply so much when you call?

That you all have fun and get out there,

And I’m reading alone in my room

Even though I used to be the first to respond?

My therapist doesn’t want me to isolate

She says that will just make me feel worse

After all I’m a social butterfly

But flapping my wings right now hurts

I don’t have the energy to be around them right now

And it’s not because they’re a lot

It’s because I’m too sad and tired to pretend I’m okay when I’m not

I just want someone who’s not family or therapist to understand

But they don’t get it

So I can’t talk to my friends about that

And I’m not really alone

I have my mom and my dad and I’m grateful for that

Because they’re what help me tolerate it

Except you can’t really tolerate it

And accept it and move on

Because when I’m crazy upset

I don’t want to be around other people

I don’t want to be seen like that

I want to be alone in my agony

Even if I feel better when someone sits down there with me