I had been running for what felt like days. Still with no knowledge what from besides a growing fear emanating from my chest. I struggled to breathe deeply as the bark from the tree itched my back and icy wind whipped across my face. my full consciousness returned to reveal that I still had not left the woods. my eyes quickly darted around, searching for the figure that had sent me running in a direction unknown. I was beginning to believe that I was fearing my own shadow.

Every sound around me, perceived as natural sounds of the forest, made me want to jump out of my skin. I had yet to spot my dark passenger but something told me, somewhere out there lurked something I was not to prepared to face. As I fought desperately to regain myself, I suddenly inhaled the haunting scent of sulfur yet again. my eyes veered up to meet the hollow gaze of the shadow figure from before just standing inches away this time and peeking from behind another tree.

“What do you want!?” This time I was able to shriek these words, begging for an explanation. As much as the words cut my throat on the way out, it felt good to find a voice again. That was until, despite not being able to make out any features, I could tell this figure was smiling and laughing at my despair. Instinctively I burst into a sob and slid down to the forest floor, grasping my knees and tucking my head. I simply wanted to hide from the creature I was facing. Hiding from these emotions had always been my only coping mechanism.

Confusion grasped my every thought, as I felt the wet, cold ground beneath me soak through my clothing . at some point, I must’ve lost consciousness again as I was suddenly awoken by the sound of approaching foot steps. There had never been a sound associated with the shadow. I couldn’t bring myself to look up as I felt the darkness close on top of me. “ I have nowhere left to run.” I whispered with just enough consciousness, to know that the end was coming…

I didn’t feel much anymore, as I stood staring at the entrance to the cave where everything had started. The water still dripped from the icicles, familiar smells still swirled in the air and the cold breeze washed over my skin. The only difference is this time I was looking in on a shadow, moving slightly within the darkness of the cave instead of me looking out. Once again, I could not recognize features, but this time I was calm. Something I had not felt for the entirety of this ordeal.

“ who I am, is not what matters love. Where you will go from here is far more precedent in this moment.” I found myself yelling out into the distance, unsure of why I felt the need to say this. Yet, as I did, the image before me finally became clear; I was watching myself from the beginning of my adventure. Irrational fear, and years of broken emotions had unlocked this presence within me that stalked my well-being and drug me into this loop of hell where I would face my own pain repeatedly. I looked around and a few feet from where I stood laid the withered corpse of who I once was still leaning against that large weeping willow tree.

I couldn’t help but smile and laugh…