The word will burn. I’ll be damned if it’s any other way—you know what I mean. Meteor strike? Too easy. If you’re gonna destroy all humanity, you’ve gotta have some grandeur about it. After all, they’re the only species that has a sense of style, and you want to reflect that in their judgement. Flooding’s been done before, and that was a direct order from the man himself. In that case, he pussied out and left two alive. Rookie mistake. Shows he has some sort of empathy for these creatures, making me want to finish them off even more. And in my eyes, someone’s gotta finish the job if God himself can’t bring himself to do it.

My way will be gasoline and lightning. It won’t be a champion species merging with AI, it won’t be a killer pandemic, because it’ll be me. The big man will get the most unsatisfying ending to his story and it’ll be his own fault. I mean seriously, introducing fire? These pyromaniacs would have done this years ago if he didn’t introduce rain that’s more common than a pimply dick.

Here’s the story of the human I made do it.

The gas leaked slowly out of the cyber kinetic mine. Jason looked on haughtily as if the gas tank had given him a bad Yelp review but he kept on walking. He passed the sex toy store that smelled oddly of salt and vinegar chips and proceeded to cross the busy street filled with taxis and rental cars. On the other side He entered the church grounds and left the gate open behind him.

With as little warning as before, God spoke In Jason’s ear; and once again, Jason wasn’t quite sure if he was being talked to or simply witnessing the deity’s private conversation.

“The church must burn. Before sunset.”

Jason swallowed his gum and opened the breifcase he kept on his arm. The pistol and jerry can lay there, temptingly.

He considered calling the cops but decided not to after realizing that no crime had been committed.

Jason took the can and went inside. With a possessed look in his eye, Jason declared his final, crowning moment.

“The world will burn.”