If you are a diplomat, where is the ambassador?

I’ll send you flying through the air like Bruce Lee in a massacre

If the princess is on this ship, don’t underestimate her drive

Hunt down the traitor, and bring them back to me alive

I really can't stay Baby it's cold outside Just go away Baby I’m cold inside

Say where are my friends... Been nice that you dropped in You’re cold as ice I'll hold this knife it warms me up

My mother will come pick me up How do you know she’s there? My father will check on me from the door Oh baby I wouldn’t be so sure

Wait why do you say that Beautiful please don’t be mad Tell me what you did... Just open that lid...

AAAAAAA!

WHO’S HEAD IS THIS? I said don’t be upset DID YOU KILL MY DAD? And they call me mad.

You freak! I’m calling the cops They aren’t gonna be able to stop me Stop your terrorism, please Why? This whole thing has been a breeze

Get out of the closet and face me Mind if turn off the lights? At least I'm gonna go to heaven I wouldn’t be so sure, Kevin

BLAOW BLAOW

It was late at night, and Florence Seegan just wanted a drink. He’d been through the Sargonian Portal, which took quite a toll on...He walked across the street to a late-night comedy club. Surreptitiously, Osmul followed him, ready to kill if he had to. Anything for the sword’s complete ownership. He would do anything at all. “Hello. Is this thing on?” A comedian breathed heavily into the microphone, sweating beads onto his chin. “My wife said I had to be here tonight. Actually, it was my agent.” Florence Seegan walked over to the bar, and payed no attention to the terrible commedian. Sitting down on one of the barstools, he turned and watched the hologram television nesting in the rack of wines behind the bar. “What’ll it be, sir?” “Florence frequented the bar after many late nights. Florence was, after all, the Sargonian Ambassador-Elect to the Empire. Florence nodded and was handed a blue, tall glass of Hadéfo. With a drink Florence got up, rejuvenated, and left the comedy club. He wasn’t in any hurry. The limousine parked in front was glistening in the light of the two nearby streetlamps. A valet recognized him, and opened the door to a bright yellow taxi. Florence clambered inside, and Osmul flagged down a second taxi just as Florence pulled away. “Hit it! Get to the Algonquin!” The cabbie nodded and sped away. The city lights plunged into the tinted car windows with a surreal light. The city sounds collapsed on Osmul’s ears, and he knew what he had to do. They arrived and Osmul paid him in cash. Osmul entered just as Florence pulled up. Florence Seegan was then escorted to his hotel room. Thanking the bellhop, he closed the door. Walking over and laying down on his king-sized bed, Florence fell asleep almost instantly. The Ambassador, who was hiding in the corner, grinned grinch-like. This was his chance. Osmul stepped out of the shadows. However, he wasn’t his usual self. Not at all. In his right hand, he held a bladed weapon. It was a creation of the First Sargonians, thousands of years prior to this moment. He knew he was making history, right in this hotel room. Walking over to the bed, he held Rajoxle up high. The Ambassador plunged the blade into Florence Seegan’s chest, and jumped over to the window across the room. Onlookers have said that they heard the following words come out of his mouth just before he fell: “I’ve started a fire! Glory to Sargonians!”

Welcome to Winter, a season of cold Where the snowdrops fall like nations of old Go sledding with friends, your fortune’s untold, But beware of the snowballs that they have just rolled

Where the snowdrops fall like nations of old Lies the city of Elves at the North Pole But beware of the snowballs that they have just rolled For the Elves are as sneaky as they are gold

I've come to work early today All my friends come out suprised Welcome to work, yay What have you got to hide?

Please let me in on it I've done all my fair share Just let me have a peek What are you doing back there?

Lunch breaks over, so they say, Time for me to prep the sink But They've been missing all day Coming back for a refilled drink

Please let me in on it I've done all my fair share Just let me have a peek I know I'm not scared

The noon rush is over now In this topsy turvy place Where is the mouse and where is the cow? I'm afraid to show my face

Please let me take part in it Time to clock out of here Just let me have a lick The blood tastes like beer

Blood, scattered everywhere No one is serving the store Wait, I know that head of hair Customers knocking on the door

I'm leaving work late today My friends all have bloodshot eyes Welcome to Restaurant What have you got to hide?

Softly, he took her into his arms

The happiest he’d ever been

At 18

Waiting for us to join him

But he was light years ahead

The word will burn. I’ll be damned if it’s any other way—you know what I mean. Meteor strike? Too easy. If you’re gonna destroy all humanity, you’ve gotta have some grandeur about it. After all, they’re the only species that has a sense of style, and you want to reflect that in their judgement. Flooding’s been done before, and that was a direct order from the man himself. In that case, he pussied out and left two alive. Rookie mistake. Shows he has some sort of empathy for these creatures, making me want to finish them off even more. And in my eyes, someone’s gotta finish the job if God himself can’t bring himself to do it.

My way will be gasoline and lightning. It won’t be a champion species merging with AI, it won’t be a killer pandemic, because it’ll be me. The big man will get the most unsatisfying ending to his story and it’ll be his own fault. I mean seriously, introducing fire? These pyromaniacs would have done this years ago if he didn’t introduce rain that’s more common than a pimply dick.

Here’s the story of the human I made do it.

The gas leaked slowly out of the cyber kinetic mine. Jason looked on haughtily as if the gas tank had given him a bad Yelp review but he kept on walking. He passed the sex toy store that smelled oddly of salt and vinegar chips and proceeded to cross the busy street filled with taxis and rental cars. On the other side He entered the church grounds and left the gate open behind him.

With as little warning as before, God spoke In Jason’s ear; and once again, Jason wasn’t quite sure if he was being talked to or simply witnessing the deity’s private conversation.

“The church must burn. Before sunset.”

Jason swallowed his gum and opened the breifcase he kept on his arm. The pistol and jerry can lay there, temptingly.

He considered calling the cops but decided not to after realizing that no crime had been committed.

Jason took the can and went inside. With a possessed look in his eye, Jason declared his final, crowning moment.

“The world will burn.”