A smile is on my face as I’m hanging out with my friends. In reality, I’m fucking in pain. Depression and anxiety is eating my mental health away. It’s making me stay up at night with little to no sleep at all. Restless nights as I lay in bed, looking up at the ceiling at nights. But yet, here I am with a realistic smile on my face. I have to take it so no one worries about me. I don’t want to be a burden to them, I’m not worth their time. They might even be better off without me really. At least that’s how I feel sometimes.

I always feel so alone even when surrounded by the people that I love. I feel like a stranger in the crowd, I watch them be happy and love their lives. Doing so many different things each and everyday. While I sit here, doing nothing but the same repeating thing each and everyday. Wishing for something new or exciting to happen. I need hope. But where can I find it? It certainly isn’t easy to find, but maybe I will be able to find it one day right? But for now, I guess I have to fake it until I make it.