Contradicting traits…?

If someone asked to sum me up with two words,

It would be those.

I contradict my contradictions!

Every single thing about me defies

Every single thing about me.

I hate people

But I’m always lonely.

I love playing viola

Yet practicing is my biggest chore.

I stress over my grades

But I never put complete effort in.

I want,

More than anything in the world,

To be _someone._

But I just can’t get up,

Can’t do something,

Can’t actually try.

I always make plans

Of how I’ll ace that project,

How I’ll help that friend,

How I’ll fix that mistake.

Why do I never do it?

I want to have everything,

To be everything,

So I become nothing at all.