There are moments in your life

Where you question your own existence

Where you wonder “am I dead?”

Or if you are dreaming

Today I woke up,

And my head spun around

I could only see a blue wall

Could hear no sound

And yet,

there was a ringing in my ear

And as I reached for the wall

I hoped things would become clear

They didn’t and as I kept reaching,

The world went black,

And before I could process it

I was falling

I didn’t know it then,

Not entirely,

But it was an out of body experience

Like I was not me

I didn’t know I was falling

Till the milliseconds from which my but hut ground

And all I felt was chaos

Inside and out

The world came back,

Fuzzy around the edges

Until all I could feel

Was the way I held my breath

My hands shook,

Just the slightest bit,

And I didn’t realize I was crying,

Not till I felt it

What had just happened to me?

Something you can’t process

It was unreal, something out a movie

But my God it was terrifying

The falling felt endless

Like I was falling into a never ending pit

Leading to where

I would repent for all my sins

The world blackened out,

my perception shifting

From the world in front of me,

To seeing myself falling

It’s never been this intense

And it didn’t happen in a couple weeks

I’ve never been the kind of kid

Whose had issues, no not me

Never me

How could it be me?

Why me?

God I don’t know

They say it may be anxiety

Blood pressure, low sugar

Vertigo, and more

But I still think I’m ok

I have to be

No way

Can I have an issue

Then all that will happen is people trying to fix you