“Why did you do this?”

I looked at him as he looked down at the rugged floor biting down on his lips. He knew he was in the wrong and he wasn’t going to deny it. With the lipstick stain on the inside of the collar of his shirt, a shade I’ve never worn. He tried to rub off the lipstick stain from his neck but I caught on though the sheer beige colour of his shirt. He cheated on me. I asked again,

“Why did you do this?”

Thinking that the answer was going to be different he was owning up to his mistakes but at the same time he wasn’t. He refused to tell me to my face he was out with some other girl, but was lazy to hide the evidence. Did he want me to find out? Was he that bored of me? Did I not satisfy his raging hormones?

“Why did you do this?”

Mg voice becoming sharp as I grind my teeth. I could feel how my acrylic nails started digging into my skin but the pain wasn’t as nearly as painful as the aching feeling I held in my chest. I was betrayed and lied to, kept away from the truth, I just needed to clarify everything even if I already knew. “For Christ sake, tell me already…”

“Why did you do this.”

My voice cracked, becoming more muted and silent as I repeated the sentence again. He stood up from the couch and sighed.

“I’m not doing this.”

He walked away from me. And straight to the front door of our apartment. He didn’t care. He didn’t try. He knew I knew but didn’t satisfy me by telling me himself.

I was going to remain broken till I could clear it all in my head. No questions I was going to ask were going to be answered so I was left with a troubled heart and not a chance at peace of mind.

I just wanted to know…

Why did you do this.