The air is light, but humid. My skin is oh so bright and my smile is from ear to ear. Finally it’s summer and I get to leave this monsterous mother for 2 and a half months into a place where I’m loved. Loved and cared for, worried about, included, laughing, wanted and just feeling like the girl that was that bright at age 6, just suddenly returns and we remained timeless, my father as myself. Until we just couldn’t pretend that we aren’t human, and the little 6 year old rimless girl had to die, so I could be honest with him about who I became in this big city and the demons it poses and he’s not here to protect me, but because of him I know what love is.

Lately I’ve been dealing with boys who must be used to girls with daddy issues, I see what my half sisters went through, but that was their choice along time ago. Therefore it has always been my father and me.

It’s almost like someone is trying to force me to have daddy issues, when I just don’t have them. I have a sense of self and know my worth and how priceless my love is and my dad loved me all the way until 2011, I have his values and core moral compass.

That’s when this world went to hell, the ONLY safe place I had in this world to just go be me and feel free from the nutty people who carry different core values out in the big city.

Anyways:

It’s humid, the house turned into trash over the years, but as long as my daddy was there, nothing mattered.

He made me feel loved, cared about, like I’m more than just 300$, I felt heard, like a person, like a loving soul should feel. He was everything she needed from a father, growing up with the mother she had. That’s another story, my mother doesn’t exist in this dream world that’s real. Like it or not mother, it’s real. In her words.. get over it.

As a child, my daddy’s was my favorite place to be. Like clock work June came and I had no option to stay in the big city, just like I had no option but to live in the big city. I left so early in life that I had no friends I left behind, just my father and the new life he was building. A happy one, free of narcissists and ugly behavior, but also everyone is human.

I tried to dig to China from his house as a child, I was fascinated by what I just learned in a big bright city and come to this place of peace and explore my curiosities.

It was amazing.