God damn it! Why did you have to not only starve me by stealing my food stamps along with my Xbox live, but now when I need an escape from my brain because of YOU, all I get it fake shit fake shit fake shit.. then neglected. When all you say is, “trust me” then I decided to cry on you, to see if ur trustable AT ALL! Turned out you weren’t. You seen me weak, or what you see as weak, I see it as releasing a ton of emotions I’ve had since I got torn from my father at 7 years old. However you seen it as I was crying for YOU, so what do you do? You send an APE ASS BITCH BOY down here to PHYSICALLY fight me, after I just granted your wish and trusted you.. I trusted you to get MY FACE SPIT IN.. see now I understand why you may think that you can behave this way around me, but sorry dears you couldn’t be more wrong. Fuck everyone I’ve lost, I’m just like my dad I’m a storm all on my own.. I don’t need someone to fight my way out of the corner you refuse to let me out of. I fight the only way I know how and that’s not your way, well the way you treat me ISNT MY WAY! Trust me if I had a best friend like I did in this time before. That’s who I would call on to handle your wacky ass whose an attention seeker only.. it’s like half the time YOU DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARENT TALKING TO! Shit you say doesn’t make sense. Well all I wanted was to be at a level where I didn’t wanna cry, I just wanted to feel free like you do every single day.. but u think I’m still innocent and can’t tell.. wrong. Your just not ever worth addressing anymore. It’s pointless and useless and you have showed me that through every outlet. Now I gotta squash out your made up time, and bring you back to sept 3rd 2012. I’m standing there with an aggressive intruder whose not there for anything but to gain something. I’m there for love.. as I bring your hateful ass back to the time I would pull the trigger and possibly save so many things.. your a destructive piece of shit, who dangles BATTERY ACID above someone whose mental health medicine YOU Have stolen and until I kill you, your destructiveness won’t stop. It’s your pattern of behavior and you should of NEVER brought that bullshit into MY WORLD, why? Well DUH, I was raised by one of you (narcissist) and due to that, I can whip my brain right into YOUR WACK FRAME OF MIND.. I see now that your feeling my pulling away. So you invite people that are soley against me, just like you are.. I would of never had any of the last 5 years of problems if it wasn’t for YOU! So imma drag you looking like YOU to my play ground where I can get away with ANYTHING.. way more than you can imagine.. nothing to be proud of until now.. I don’t wanna be all dexter, but the world will be a better place without another one of you entitled for no reason, abusive in every way, lies about their whole life, because your that delusional and are beginning to believe your under 5’9 dumb ass is WHO IS ON YOUR ID! I know I can speak for everyone who you have stolen from, fucked over, hurt, ect ect. When I say, this world will be a better place when your fraudulent ass is gone gone..
That’s when I did it, I pulled the trigger to a 2 bullet holding shot gun, right in my dads abandoned houses kitchen.. As I watched him look at me with dismay, all I could think is. What the fuck did you expect? Of course I let him suffer, because he let me die, but sadly I did not and that’s when I knew one of us had to go and I can’t, because my life is real AND THE LIE THESE TERRORIST ARE LIVING simply isn’t real and needs to come to an end. Not only did I make my own day that day, because he is an intruder, I made my Father’s Day and felt peace the moment the life left his eyes and his body flattened out. Well maybe Sunday IS funday.
I really just wanted to relax.. I wanted you to be who I came here for and instead you have stomped all over my heart and brain, as if it’s yours to do so. I have played nice for way to long. I really wanted to kick back and have a good day tomorrow, but now I gotta take up the whole day to make you disappear and then clean up the aftermath. Hope today and all the moneys that you supposedly made will help you when your in hell for doing some foul shit. So much foul shit, that you turned me into this. When the reality is, someone should of taken care of your disrespectful ass years ago. Sunday funday huh?
His greed ran deep, just as deep as his envy for others and what they have and how they get treated, for free. While someone wants to play a greedy character in his life, he thought, might as well be him right? Greed as broken many bonds that will never repair Envy and zealous has ran a once good person into a killa. Yes 2 lives were vanished from this guys greed, now he walks around kicking down the only one holding him up.. When in fact it’s the other way around. His greed, wether it be for attention, money, admiration or just plain evil. His greed will leave you as a shell of yourself, forgot who you once were because his greed leads to everyone compromises but himself.. greed will kill.. greed killed my everyday friend 4.5 years ago. When someone gets greedy, there is someone’s well being at stake.. Watch out for these people.
She creeps around in disguise thinking no one will notice, but I notice. Why do I notice? I’ve dealt with her vindictive bitch ass before and it’s been an ongoing pattern in my life. She hides behind details that she believes she’s safe behind. Maybe her physical form is, but not her actual life. See it’s been too many years that she’s been invading MY SPACES and leaves me with nothing and no one. So far, she’s at my mothers house, she has her own place, she follows me to another state and invaded the only peaceful place I had in this world. This time she just never understood that her number with me is up. Get the fuck outta my world, because your never who you say you are. You are a deceitful little bitch, who has now made me question something that should of been unquestionable. Your whore behavior of anyone can get that, you use to your advantage, unaware of how stupid you seem and look. Male, female. It doesn’t matter, I see you, I notice your bitch behavior, because We are not strangers, soon we will be. Simply because your getting high, sole purpose of it is to make sure I don’t have a good life when bitch your not even apart of my life and never will be again. Your getting the people I care about high, so they fuck me off and discard me, only to be discarded themselves when something in your real world happens. Believe me bitch when I say, you have crossed me for the last time. You have shook up something that was never yours to shake up. How you in my DEAD best friends story, SHES DEAD BITCH and that day at village inn showed that you didn’t give 2 fucks that MY EVERYDAY person is gone. Nah, your bitch ass seen it as an opportunity to get into my world because I don’t like fake hoes, so I phased you out. You should of stayed home and away from me. I didn’t know you seen me as such a little bitch you can lie to and try and manipulate. Jig is up, you broke this boy in every area of his life, because I will no longer waste my time helping someone who rather help a fake ass envious bitch who is upset there is no competition, so she just tries to create one and BAM! 2013 all over for you again bitch. You can’t face me, have a boy beat me on ur demand and really think I’m just gonna let you off easy like that. You ruined his life, you ruined all hope for a future between us and for what? Just like the song says, god forbid I’m better than you. So you come in here once you see a spark of anything and fuck it up beyond bouncing back. I’m not bouncing back with anyone in this household because of YOU and your hateful acts of jealousy. Damage is already done, and I’m done letting people who are never who they claim to be off hoping karma will catch them. Nah bitch that so called man you act like is around but isn’t calls me karma and yes bitch you just ran into your karma. I’m my fathers only and the ghost your trying to act like he’s here, clearly you have never seen him before, or else you wouldn’t be doing dishes for some fucktard fraud. As well as pretending to be a mother, while allowing and demanding this abusive idiot to hit me because you don’t want to. Oh I bet you will when I make that phone contact to my city and blow your life up, like you have done to mine. I’m over it, you could never ever ever ever replace the real life friend I had, u tried to take her place, and that’s not cool. Then when you realized you couldn’t. You found yourself a dope head that will risk his freedom for a tad bit of dope, but your not innocent. Now that I know your a part of this organized crime that won’t stop infesting my life, it’s on because I need to go live in reality, just like you do.. imma force you to face it or find out how deep you are in. I’ll never be you and fuck off my 30s for no reason... he’s gotta get back to you, so the moment you walked in, and talked in his ear he’s out. Perfect because I’m about to give you what you need and that is to recognize what the fuck your doing. You are a virus in any disguise but yourself and this circus will realize it, but as for us we are done done.. and I guess when that check comes up, you will know that I know it’s you and I’m telling you to back up the only way I know how when shoved into a corner by cowards who have brought me down down to a sadness I’m unsure I can make it out of. If I die here, believe me no one on earth is going to think it’s a suicide. Ur trying real hard to make me look like someone I’ll never be and something you clearly will always be. I feel sorry for the Z, she deserves a better mother and so do I. Dumb ass
The way he spoke to her made me shiver, he uses big words to her like intangible, thinking she doesn’t know what it means, but he doesn’t know what she’s capable of, so she just lets him rant and rave. He will soon know again what it’s like to be with a woman, if he ever had been with one. As he plays a game with a now grown woman, she realizes how softly she strokes the heads of her clients at the shampoo bowl while drifting into thought. She takes her time with her clients because she’s not avaricious, she knows when to stop taking. She will even leave so she won’t take up all the people with them requesting her, she allows others to be like her, but they just turn out greedier and more avaricious the more she gives them.
His mask has caved in and he can no longer hide who he is and who he isn’t. The girl he traps, gives the bare minimum to, steals her medicine for her mental health see and It has nothing to do with money. He is a sociopathic, narcissist who loves depriving their victims of human contact and connection, out side of his world of lies that’s slowly but surely falling apart. Therefore she suffers in silence daily, has vocalized what this is doing to her, that’s when he shows loud and clear that leopards never change their spots, just their prey.
After being able to see the grown side of this innocent seventeen year old girl he once knew. He became intrigued, as he just got done having a night full of ecstasy and connection. He knows her reality, he knows he doesn’t need to be where he is.. he can’t get her off his mind. The one that he never thought would be looking up at him while they are making love, stares with some confusion but also something in her that wants to feel relief. However she is far from there, unless he un does all the lies, he’s going to lose her before anything could start. Before she could moan his name. That became a reality to him last night when she opened snap chat with him next to her, he sees the only name that can pull her from his grips. That’s when it hits him, at any moment she could forever be gone from him. He’s not ready, he hasn’t seen her feelings for him. He hasn’t done anything to move forward the us she had to detach from to save some pain. He could go home today and she’s gone forever and protected from any further hurt. Although it hurts her, she told him today that working things out would be better than stagnant. Happiness over everything and the man that could pull her out of this lie holds her heart, literally he holds her 16 year old son against her, knowing that she will run at the chance to be with him again. She isn’t happy, she isn’t moving forward, she isn’t getting any truth told and this could all be fake energy to gain trust. It’s happen before and it crushed her. This time is different, he only has until the other one comes to pull her from the lies to come clean and get the chance to hear her moan his name. That’s when it hits him, I gotta go, this is fake, I have another identity that I need to put his daughter first again for once. That’s when he walked off site.. hoping she’s still there, because he knows this other man in her reality doesn’t play when it comes to her being left out in this world and then seeing how much she needs him. It’s only a matter of time. As he rushed home to see his love interest and come clean, he walked into his place and nothing seemed different. She didn’t feel gone, as he ran downstairs to greet his love like he has for 3 months now. That’s when he looks around and sees she’s gone. All of her is gone. He came and took her and now he will never be able to contact her again. Rules are rules. As they drive off, she’s crying for more reasons that she even understands.. all she knows is this boy who can’t be blamed has been breaking her heart for awhile now. The boy at fake work, lost someone that day who was meant to be his blessing. Meant to be the one to get him off paper, get him straight and stay that way, instead of giving her his attention, he was busy giving it to all the no ones that aren’t her. She just snapped and decided that when the chance comes she’s taking it. 12 years now wasted on nothing and only hateful people spawned from it and now it’s over. She’s in the car with her factual permanent life person. All she can do is cry in relief. She looked at the man whose been away for 5 years and said, “ I thought you were never coming back for me.” He looked at her and said, “baby we got us and I’ll always come back for you, because I know you would always come back for her.
The air is light, but humid. My skin is oh so bright and my smile is from ear to ear. Finally it’s summer and I get to leave this monsterous mother for 2 and a half months into a place where I’m loved. Loved and cared for, worried about, included, laughing, wanted and just feeling like the girl that was that bright at age 6, just suddenly returns and we remained timeless, my father as myself. Until we just couldn’t pretend that we aren’t human, and the little 6 year old rimless girl had to die, so I could be honest with him about who I became in this big city and the demons it poses and he’s not here to protect me, but because of him I know what love is. Lately I’ve been dealing with boys who must be used to girls with daddy issues, I see what my half sisters went through, but that was their choice along time ago. Therefore it has always been my father and me. It’s almost like someone is trying to force me to have daddy issues, when I just don’t have them. I have a sense of self and know my worth and how priceless my love is and my dad loved me all the way until 2011, I have his values and core moral compass. That’s when this world went to hell, the ONLY safe place I had in this world to just go be me and feel free from the nutty people who carry different core values out in the big city. Anyways: It’s humid, the house turned into trash over the years, but as long as my daddy was there, nothing mattered. He made me feel loved, cared about, like I’m more than just 300$, I felt heard, like a person, like a loving soul should feel. He was everything she needed from a father, growing up with the mother she had. That’s another story, my mother doesn’t exist in this dream world that’s real. Like it or not mother, it’s real. In her words.. get over it. As a child, my daddy’s was my favorite place to be. Like clock work June came and I had no option to stay in the big city, just like I had no option but to live in the big city. I left so early in life that I had no friends I left behind, just my father and the new life he was building. A happy one, free of narcissists and ugly behavior, but also everyone is human. I tried to dig to China from his house as a child, I was fascinated by what I just learned in a big bright city and come to this place of peace and explore my curiosities. It was amazing.
Law of attraction, while someone who actively preaches is, makes sure to in bed in her head this is what you attract. When reality couldn’t be any less opposite. She attracted love and sunshine and people who made her happy as well as laugh. Until he targeted her viscously one June day. He broke her down and played the I didn’t know what I had card forever. Then he played I want a second chance, convinced the crew that he actually loved her, then his actions turns into only one of someone who would want to hurt her, viscously. Little did he know that she’s had a guardianship that’s to last until the day he died. Her father, who has an undying love for her, one her mother did posses.
Yesterday when I woke up, my soul was awakened. I finally felt like myself again, or felt like it was on the horizon. Even though various forces, seen it and tried to bring it down. I woke up this morning in a whole new frame of mind, no longer will I be this persons energy supply or punching bag and now his funeral is happening right now in my mind and world. Although I wish it could happen overnight, it doesn’t. However the one thing is I’m human and talking is healthy and not speaking is very unhealthy not to mention uncomfortable. Therefore I’m going day by day, when last week I was lining moment by moment. That’s what I see as an awakening.
