I stare in disbelief at Baby. Did he really just say what I think he said or have I finally cracked?

Baby is my parrot. My husband, Bo gave him to me for our 30th wedding anniversary.

He said that it would be good company while he’s away since he often travels for work. We have two children, Hannah and Sam, who are now adults with children of their own. They are also on the other side of the country. I haven’t been able to see them or my grandchildren in person outside of video calls, since the beginning of this awful pandemic. In addition, I recently lost my mama, Ann, to the virus. Mama was the absolute best. She could always make me feel better. She was a great listener and my best friend. I took her death very hard. Although some would say that I didn’t really grieve because I didn’t cry at her graveside funeral. I guess people expect you to scream and wail. They assume that those are acceptable signs of every mourning person’s experience with properly processing grief but some losses are so painful, that they take your voice away because the pain knocks the wind out of you. Mama’s death knocked the wind out of me.

Her and Bo never really did get along that great. She always said that he took me for granted, mistreated me, and was a classic narcissist. I can’t really say that she was wrong but hey, he is my husband and I don’t believe in divorce so I have to stick it out for better or for worse right?

Anyway, Bo didn’t exactly roll out the red carpet for mama either. We actually had a major fight because he didn’t even attend her funeral. He claimed that he had this extremely important out of town business meeting that he simply couldn’t miss. He said that if he could’ve attended, he would have, and that he’d call me right after he completed his meeting. I was more embarrassed than angry with the fact that not only did I have to attend the funeral without support but lie to those that asked of his whereabouts because I couldn’t bring myself to say that he chose work over his wife.

“Let’s give another warm welcome to the newlyweds, Bo and Maggie”

Baby repeated the words that quickly snatched me out of my thoughts into the present reality. I stood up from my recliner, walked over slowly to the large, barred, golden home that currently held the bird and leaned in. Baby faced me as if he was a drill sergeant facing a soldier on the first day of boot camp. He did not flinch or step back. As I stare into the birds eyes, my thoughts race to make sense of what is being said. From time to time, I entertained the idea that my husband may have had an emotional “discrepancy” a time or two while traveling especially since our love life had grown stale. I just didn’t think that he could actually carry out the act of having sex with another woman especially since I’ve always believed in making myself consistently available to him. I just chalked up our lack of sex and intimacy lately to the high and low phases that every married couple goes through. As I think of these things, I find comfort that my husband has not been cheating on me with another woman.

I smile to myself and then tears roll down my cheeks because yes this is the moment that I realize that I’ve finally cracked. It’s not because I’m having a full blown conversation with a parrot but my house companion with wings has just revealed to me that my husband has married his best friend Magnus aka Maggie.