I don’t understand why I’m doing this. I just feel like I need to talk to her, explain myself.

I breath in, grabbing the cold door knob and entering the dark room.

The door squeaks as I step in. Laying on the hospital bed is a girl. The girl. Ever since the crash that I caused she’s been asleep.

I hold onto the edge of the door, resting my cheek on the rough wood. She looks so peaceful, like the princess in Sleeping Beauty. Only she’ll wake up to a tragic world, not a prince.

I sigh, letting go of the door and walking up to her. The only sound is a small machine beeping rhythmically on the side of the bed.

I hover over the end of the bed. The moon shines through the glass and directly onto her. Making her golden hair seem to glow.

I inch closer to her, afraid that she may wake up. I bet when she sees me she’ll know what I’ve done.

I lower myself into the chair that’s placed next to her. Scooting it, across the floor. It squeaks loudy, making me shut my eyes.

I keep my eyes closed trying to think of what I need to say. What I want to say. I’m sure she can’t hear me but maybe she can feel me. It’s a weird feeling but just because it feels strange doesn’t mean it’s not still there.

“I . . .” My voice cracks. “I’m sorry.” I mumble.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

I stay silent for a few minutes like she’ll magically answer. Or apologize. Which is probably way farther off the charts then her recovering and waking up.

“I know you’re thinking that I’m a monster and I should be the one that died,” I pause, blinking tears away. “And I agree with you one hundred percent.”

I scoot the chair up to the edge of her bed, leaning down next to her. “This is crazy.” I mutter under my breath, my lips inches away from her ear. “But I’m going to make it up to you.”

I sit up striaght, my eyes falling down to her hand. It’s so pale, and almost lifeless.

I reach out, grabbing her hand and holding it tightly between mine.

“I’m not going to just pretend like I never crashed into you.” I put my other hand on hers, closing my eyes. “Because in a way I lost my life. I can’t be me anymore . . . Because I’ve changed, even though it’s only been a couple of days. I’ve changed.”

I sigh, as a single tear falls down my cheek. “I want to fix my mistake. And I can’t . . . I haven’t failed a math test or accidently broke my mom’s china. I’ve killed someone.” My voice tremebles as I look down at her hand. Rubbing my thumb across her knuckles.

“I’m not abandoning you.”