Sometimes I wonder,

How long will it take for them to stop?

For them to stop giving me attention?

For them to turn away and make snide comments?

For them to stop showing me any traces of human affection?

And I know,

I know, trust me,

That this isn’t good to think of.

Yet the thought won’t escape me.

She’s my friend,

But I wonder how long would it take,

I wonder when the word would be used no longer.

He’s my…

Not a friend,

But just a guy,

A guy I know.

And I wonder,

How long that guy I know,

Will turn into “that stranger I don’t”?

Though he’s not my friend,

He treats me like one.

But the thoughts are telling me,

“I wonder when he’d stop.”

I wonder when will the world finally turn against me,

Just like everyone does.

Leave me to rot,

Leave me to die,

Leave me to wonder why didn’t I try.

Try harder to maintain that…

That friendship.

That feeling.

A “sense of belonging.”

**_No._**__

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_I shouldn’t think like this._

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_It’s not my fault._

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_And this is unfair to me._

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_So I wonder._

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_Wonder when I’ll stop._

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_When I’ll be okay._

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_And better._