-Sleep-

I just had the best nap of my life. I'm talking wake up drooling, limbs akimbo, wondering where I am type nap. Wait, actually, where the hell am i? And why was I covered in sleep dust!? What mischief were the pixies cooking up, and why did it have to be me!

-Magic-

I wished for a relaxing afternoon. I was thinking nice drink, little music, cozy blanket... I was not thinking the little _darling_ pixies would hear and decide to whisk me away! The _lovley little angels_ had taken me to a fairy ring, transported me to the land of magic, and then run off. I hate it here, its so _fluffing_ irritating. The anti-swear charm over the place being the first of many catastrophic annoyances. The second being the smell. Like a sweetshop, florists, and knock off perfume shop got put in a horrifyingly large blender and the resulting sludge pasted into every nook and cranny of the forest. This would take a week to wash out of my hair. The plants were the next issue. They're all gigantic making it near impossible to move or see any significant distance. I kick the 11 foot tall mushroom in frustration, enjoying the sound the chunk made when it hit the floor.

"OUCH, YOU _beloved fellow_" i shout, holding my cheek.

"See how you like it" the mushroom mumbled before plodding off, pushing the chunk back in place.

Of course the mushrooms are sentient.

-Fairy-

I hope i get out if here soon. I'd been wandering around for several hours, doing my best to not direct violence towards anything i didnt think i could win against. I stopped for a moment, looked around, and gave up. Uncerimoniously, I plopped myself down and stared up at the sky, i couldnt see much beyond the thicket of obnoxiously neon leaves. At least it wasn't raining i thought. Panicked, I looked around, i didnt want any pixies getting ideas... Satisfyed i wasn't about to get drenched i settled back down. It was time to come up with a plan better than aimlessly wander.

"Excuse me traveler, are you in need of assistance?" squeaked a silvery voice.

"Oh my a fairy! I'm saved." i said sweetly, beckoning it to come closer.

It flounced across to me, dripping in white fabric, face slathered in makeup.

"I esmerelder of sugarhollow -" it began, but i snatched it from the air. It let out a series of squarks and shrieks. I smushed the makeup off its face on a nearby leaf, and shook off the bug it had bartered with to be it's wings.

"Pixie.' I greeted it 'Not very convincing. What was the plan, raise my hopes do something highly irritating then dissapear?" i said, absent mindedly picking off the grass it had used for hair.

"Pretty much" wriggling, the now deep voice grumbled.

"Take me home right now, no tricks" I said sternly, eyebrow raised.

"Or what" it rolled it's eyes.

"Or i squish you" i threaten.

"You wouldn't resort to murder' it snorted. "No?" i frown, squeezing a bit.

"Get off, get off, okay okay il take you home! Spoil sport, you humans are no fun." it said hurredly.

He waves his hands around in a whimsical manner, far more spritly than i would expect for a pixie it's age. I blink, the next time i opened my eyes i was back in my own kitchen, no pixies in sight. I really must make sure to ask the local witch for some protection charms. Never again with those bloody pixies.