teen girl who loves reading and writing romance, flautist 🪈Christian ✝️ Taylor is my bestie 🫶🏻 i'm in two national commercials; actress 🎬 Romans 15:13 Catalina Island is the vibes
teen girl who loves reading and writing romance, flautist 🪈Christian ✝️ Taylor is my bestie 🫶🏻 i'm in two national commercials; actress 🎬 Romans 15:13 Catalina Island is the vibes
Hot objects feel cold when you're burning
Cold water feels warm when you're freezing
Night seems blinding when you're dim
Day seems dark when you're in the sun
Summer seems boring when you're thriving
Winter seems happy when you're dying
Hot or Cold Cold or Hot
Night or Day Day or Night
Summer or Winter Winter or Summer
But darling it's too dark We can't go for a spin
we can go to the park that'll be a win
I'll just stay home You go and enjoy the car
then I'll be alone plus, there will be thousands of stars
I'm too tired For any kind of fun
well I'm wired to see the sky after the sun
Well darling I need to get in bed
come on, it's where we got wed
Fine, alright
oh it's going to be great tonight
I run. And run and run, until I reach my house. My pulse is racing faster than ever, and I drop down on my bed, a hot mess. I must have fallen asleep, because Marley wakes me up.
"Where have you been all day? I saw you come home like 2 hours ago. What is with you?"
"Hmm?" I say groggily.
"Get up. Mom will be home soon to make dinner."
"Okay"
"And you might want to take a shower."
I take her advice and have a nice warm shower that was long overdue. I keep on thinking about the boy and how pretty his smile is. His bright green eyes, and chocolate brown hair take over my thoughts. What is this feeling? I want to be with him, next to him, look at him. I try to push it all away as I step out of the bathroom for dinner.
"Hi Melanie. How was your day?"
"Oh I just took a nap for a while and went outside. Nothing too crazy."
"Well, I had a fabulous day at work. I got everything done so I don't need to go in tomorrow."
"That's great mom!" says Marley.
I smile with my teeth but not my eyes. We will surely do someone all together tomorrow, so I can't see the boy. Maybe I'll go at night, after dinner perhaps.
"What do you say we all go to Linda's house for lunch and get peticures?"
"Sure!" I say with the brightest smile I can fake.
Linda is... well she's a character for sure. Don't even get me started on her food. It's all naturally grown from her garden, and won't use anything otherwise. And it's always dishes nobody's ever heard of before. She doesn’t have a regular kitchen, but some wood for a fire and rock bowls that she hand carved herself. Her wife, Kristen, is never home and seems to be working at a hidden place that no one knows.
"Thanks Linda," I say gritting my teeth as I look at the brown green bowl of mush that isn't quite soup.
"Of course. It's my new recipe, Veggies and More, only the second time I've made it!" she says with a cheery smile.
We all sit on the floor in a circle eating the mush with our hands (forbid we ever use silverware) and she talks about the ingredients. The second she says dirt, I gag in my mouth and force a smile. The list keeps on going of weird ingredients, all from her garden.
"Well it's wonderful Linda," says mom.
"Would you like to take some home with you? I just made a new clay container."
"That would be lovely."
They both share bright smiles as me and Marley have a conversation through facial expressions. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's disgusting. We both share gross faces with one another until they come back.
We walk over to Linda's little shack-room-thing to get pedicures. Those are always good, leaving our feet with slight smell of lavender. But she has to hand do each of ours, so it takes three times as long.
"Thanks Linda, for the lunch and pedicure," mom says with a relaxed smile.
"Anytime."
Marley and mom both decide to take naps after the spa day, so I take my chance to go see the boy again.
He's dressed in a nice suit, and keeps on looking at himself in the mirror and fixing things that don't need to be fixed. The older version of him walks in, and the boy leaves his room. I watch as he walks out the front door and him and the other guy drive away in a black car.
I sigh and go back to my house, the boy didn't stay in his room long today. Mom and Marley are still asleep, so I start working on dinner. Tonight I think I'll heat up some leftover chicken and have rice and broccoli.
"Dinner looks good," says Marley.
"Thank you. Oh my gosh, Linda's lunch today was... well, interesting."
"I gagged like 17 different times"
We both giggle and sit at the table to play a quick card game while dinner is still cooking.
"So, you go back to school tomorrow. What time should I come pick you up while you skip?"
"I am not skipping school!" I laugh at Marley.
"I'm just saying, sometimes it gets boring..."
"Well, I think it's interesting. Especially math. Numbers are so fun to work with."
"Okay, now you sound like a psychopath."
Mom walks out just as I finish setting the table with food. Her tired eyes say all about how her nap went. Marley gives me a look, one that says 'tonight is going to be rough' and I feel the same way.
"How was your nap?" I ask.
She walks past me, grabs a plate of food, and heads back to her bedroom. Me and Marley both relax a bit more, because we don't have to deal with mom tonight.
"Did you take a nap?"
"Umm yeah."
"No you didn't"
She caught me. I feel my heart pound faster and my breaths are shorter.
"Yes, I did."
"No, you didn't"
"Okay, so maybe I didn't. But what do you care?"
She raises an eyebrow and I sense a lecture coming.
"So what did you do?" she says very slowly.
"You didn't sneak out and see the boy again, did you?"
I give her and quick smile and slowly retreat to my bedroom. She has full, loud breaths and I hear her footsteps creek towards me.
Once in my room, I shut the door securely behind me and lock it. I try to slow my breathing.
Marley can't know my feelings for this boy.
February 17th. That was the day I saw him. The first time I saw him.
A person, but with short hair. Different clothes.
"What is that?"
"A boy, I think."
"He's... well."
"Ugly"
"No," I pause, "he's beautiful. In a different way than us."
I stand there staring. _How could I have gone all my life never seeing or knowing this creature. _
"We need to go, Claire."
"Just one more minute."
"No. There's nothing to look at anyway."
She takes my arm and pulls me away as I try to catch one last glance at the boy.
"Claire!"
"What?"
"I know I was the one who wanted to go, but we can't just stand there and stare!"
I blushed and tried to change the topic.
"Could I make dinner tonight? I know mom needs a break, and you... well you don't like to cook."
"Sure but that's not the point."
I widen my smile and walk to the kitchen as she rolls her eyes.
I think I'll make pasta. Probably penne with a pinkish sauce. Mom hates just plain red sauce, so I get to work. I put everything in a blender to make it creamy, adding tomato's, garlic, italian seasoning, salt, pepper, sour cream, and another unnamed seasoning that we always add to a pasta sauce. I pour it all in a small pot and mix in some sliced green onions and some chicken from the freezer.
"This is delicious, Melanie!"
"Thanks mom," I reply with a mouthful of food and a huge grin on my face.
"What did you girls do today?"
I look at my sister and she looks at me. We need a cover story. So I say,
"A whole bunch of nothing."
"I, went to the store," she says glaring at me.
"What did you get?"
"Nothing. Just to get a little walk in"
I giggle because Marley never goes on walks for fun. Mom has a questioning look but doesn't say any more.
"Will you go to work tomorrow?"
"Yes, I didn't finish everything I needed to. Maybe you girls could hang out with on of your friends or something. I just hate leaving you here all alone."
"But Mom, it's not like anything's going to happen. We know everyone in town and have robber systems or whatever." Marley complains.
Her face softens and she starts working on the dishes. I think about that boy again, and I realize that I want to see another human that isn't a girl or woman. I will go there again tomorrow.
I watch his movements, folding clothes as he puts them in a basket. I am in awe as what must be an older version of him comes into the room and says something to make the boy laugh. It's truly a beautiful sight. And no one here can stop me from watching.
He opens and book and writes something on a piece of paper. He does this over and over again, but it doesn’t bore me.
When he finally puts the pencil and book down, he seems more relaxed. I smile to myself, but then he looks in my direction. He squints and then our eyes meet. He has a weird look on his face, but waves towards me. I quickly turn around, calmly step away from the spot I was sitting in, and run.
Darling it's raining such a horrid day to be wet
but I like when your swaying so dont make it such a fret
I just got my hair done curled and all
loosen up and have some fun we could dance and have a ball
No darling I'm freezing outside is just to cold
well baby I'm reeling to see you get bold
But my shoes are new and I need to meet up with Ella
Let me woo I could even get an umbrella
But darling it's raining
do I care?
But darling I'm freezing
so just bare
But darling-
lets just go dancing
Fine.
oh, this will be devine
A fresh tube of mascara The smack it makes when opening for the first time
A clean water bottle The first iced cold sip feeling
A long overdue trim The shower following is glorious
A fish The old one died
A new year The motivation to do something when nothing seems worth it
A birthday The perfect way to think about how many more you will have
A newly-bought plant The leaves so green and beautiful
A teacher The one that's new, just started last year but acts like a tantrum-throwing toddler
A little bit of hope The single thing that can start a train of faith
Her dress was flowy and pink elegant and soft enchanting and pretty beautiful and perfect
The dance she danced was fluid seamless movement without motion controlled and free emotional and simple
She did it despite the circumstances despite her mother despite her pain despite the hating eyes despite the loss of a love despite her tears
A lot can be said about the girl
and how they thought she was innocent
naive
ugly
terrible
She was much more than that with her moves
She was Isabella.
part 2?
you loved me so fiercely that I burned so now all you have is ashes
you kissed me with a deep passion that cut through me like a tipped blade
your hands held me tight like a murders grip on a prays neck
I always toppled over from your aggressive moves
you wanted more more more and it put a filter on my vision
you never physically hurt me you love me, you did
but your love was shown in passionate ways heavy kisses up my neck, closeness of our bodies, always pressing forward
I took it all because I love you, I did
our love well, was it really ours?
you pulled me in and pressed me forward
but to nothing it didn't approve always something I could do, but you did it a little harder than I thought
you burned my skin with your intiment love so all you have is my loving ashes
and maybe that's for the best yes I love you, I did
but the love I need, the love that will last is soft, is gentle, is sweet, is pure, is kind, is beautiful, is slow
so yes, I love you, I did I just need a different type of love
so goodbye my once love
you were amazing discovery of what I really needed.
can you hear my whisper dear sweet baby
Can you hear my voice dear sweet child
can you hear my cries dear sweet teen
Can you hear my laughter dear sweet college student
can you hear my approval dear sweet adult
Can you hear my joy dear sweet mother
can you hear my coughs dear sweet elder
Can you hear me my dear sweet daughter
"Max?"
"Yeah?"
"I need you to be so honest with me right now."
His face has worry written all over it.
"Yeah?"
"Please tell me you brought pizza again."
He chuckles by the unserious question I asked.
"Okay, I did."
I could finally breath again. I forgot my lunch. Again. It must be the third time this week.
"Thank you so so much!"
"No problem."
We sit and have lunch together in one of our teachers classrooms. He never has asked why I forget a lunch, or if I have any other friends. I don't, of course, but he never seems to mind. The bell rings and we say our goodbyes.
THE NEXT DAY
Ugh. I forgot my lunch. Worst part, Max isn't here today. He's at a dentist appointment or something. So now I have to face the lunch line. And try and plead that I don't have any money but still give me the food.
"I don't have any money, but can I still get hot lunch?" I ask when I reach the front.
"No."
"Please?"
"No. You need money to get hot lunch."
"Just this one time?"
"No. Now get out of line."
I start walking away when I hear someone say "I'll pay for her."
The lady glares at me when I get my food.
"Thank you so much!" I say to the person who payed.
I turn around to see a tall, built guy who must be on the football team.
"Of course," he says with a grin.
I blush as I turn around. He is fineeee. I quickly walk to a corner in the hall since Max isn't here. I sit in shock that a guy like him payed for a girl like me, for school lunch. My heart is beating a million times per minute it seems.
I see him standing in the cafeteria looking around for something. I turn and eat my food, and try to stop thinking about what just happened. I hear footsteps coming closer to me and I gulp.
"Hey," he says.
"Hi," I say and slowly turn around.
"Are you eating lunch by yourself?"
"Maybe."
"Can I join you?"
I am totally in shock. How could this guy have nowhere to sit? He must see the expression on my face.
"If that's okay with you."
"Sure."
I scoot over so there is room for him. I cannot believe what is happening.
"So, you normally get hot lunch?"
"No. A friend usually has some extra food for me."
He nods and continues to eat. You would have thought he hadn't had food for days. It makes me laugh.
"What?" he says with his mouth full and a grin on his face.
"How long has it been since your last meal?"
"Uhh, I had breakfast at 7:30?"
That makes me laugh even harder. The last meal I had was dinner last night, which was a lucky occurrence. And even still I don't eat like that. He joins in on my laughter. He has a great laugh too. Gosh I need to stop thinking about this.
"Where do you normally eat lunch?"
"Oh, I just moved here."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Kind of a weird time to move. But it's been chill here so far."
I think to myself that it will soon be more chaotic for him. All the girls will want to eat lunch with him, heck even I did.
"What do you have next period?"
"I have history with Ms. Berkeley? Is that how you say it?"
"Oh my gosh no way. I have that too. And yes, it's pronounced that way."
"Haha what are the chances? Glad I have someone to walk with."
His smile is so bright that I feel like it's fake. Why is he hanging out with me out of everyone? Does he feel bad for me? Does he pity me?
"Yeah."
We walk to class together and I grit my teeth with a sharp smile. This isn't real, he must be faking it or something. Luckily when we get to class I go to my regular seat, which is far from his. I feel like his eyes are on me but I ignore it, because I'm probably just dreaming that he is.
NEXT DAY
"Heyyyyy Max, do you have some extra food?"
"Yes of course," he chuckles.
I'm so glad because I am starving. Which makes me think of the guy at lunch yesterday. Wow I didn't even get his name. Oh well. Probably for the best.
We past the cafeteria and I catch myself looking for him. I need to seriously stop thinking about this.
"So, how did it go without me yesterday?"
"Umm fine."
"Did you bring a lunch?"
"No."
He looks disappointed that I probably haven't eaten in a while.
"But I did get hot lunch."
He raises his eyebrow and asks, "Oh?"
"Someone else payed for it, luckily."
"Good," he says with a smile. I compare both guys smiles. Gosh, stop thinking that brain. I eat the food in silence and hope he doesn't ask anything else.
NEXT DAY
I find Max in the halls and we walk to the classroom together. We pass by that corner I ate at two days ago, and I see the guy sitting there by himself.
"Hey, wait up!" he calls out. I'm in horror that he remembers me, he's eating alone, and Max is right next to me. Max continues walking, because nobody would be calling for me, right?
"Hi" I turn and say.
"Where were you yesterday?"
"Umm eating lunch in a teachers room like I normally do."
"Oh" he says and looks sad.
Max now realizes that someone is talking to me, and sends me looks that I can't quite figure out. It feels awkward for a few moments, before I break the silence.
"Do you.. want to eat with us?"
I regret my words as soon as they come out of my mouth. I don't even know this guys name, he's new, and it's always just been Max and me. He grins.
"Sure."
How did this come to happen. I'm in the middle of two guys walking to lunch and I don't know what to do.
heyyyy guyyyyys, i'm still alive... 😅 sorry it's been a while life is busier than ever... school until 4:10 every other day and marching band tuesdays and thursdays, monday night acting, friday football games, out of town weekends, and guess what. i booked another commercial! it's for a car (i can't tell you what car, it's confidential information aka illegal) and i had two callbacks and other crazy stuff soooo yeah. 😅 i've been working on this one for some time, chunking piece by piece (slowly but shirley) and now im leaving you with a cliff hanger. a part two will be out someday (busy life) so around a week, if sooner it will be short, if later it will probably be better quality, but yeah. hiiiiiii and byeeeee 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
