I woke up with the sun shining on my face. It took me a few minutes before the events of last night came rushing back to me. I grab my phone hoping against hope that Draya had changed her mind and tried to contact me. My heart sank when I saw that there were no new messages or voicemails, no missed calls, nothing. I should’ve known. I wanted to cry and scream and fall apart all at once but at the same time I felt numb, maybe that’s why I wasn’t crying right now. I probably would later. I felt lost and alone. I looked at my phone again opened up my contacts and scrolled through it until I found the number I was looking for and called it.

It rang twice and then Hallie’s chipper voice answered “Hello?”

“Hey Hallie.”

“S’up Sare Bear?”

“Do you have any plans today?”

“No I’m completely free.”

“Good I need you to come over ASAP.”

“Why?”

“I will tell you when you get here.”

“Okay should I contact everyone else too?”

“No! Hallie don’t you dare!”

“Okay I won’t, must be serious. I’m on my way.”

“Okay see you soon.”

I sighed as I hung up my phone and got out of bed. I was still in my dress from last night. I didn’t have the state of mind or the energy to change out of it last night. I reached behind me and with some difficulty managed to unzip the dress. I stuffed it in my hamper. I didn’t feel like getting dressed so I just changed my underwear and put on a big t shirt and pair of sweatpants then I see the silk corsage still attached to my wrist; I still remember the way my heart swelled with happiness and love when Draya gave it to me looking at it now just made me feel broken and sick. I took it off and threw it across my room not caring where it landed. I went down stairs and sat in the living room until Hallie arrived.

“So what happened?”

“Draya dumped me last night.”

“What? But why?”

“Because I told her I love her.”

“And she dumped you for that? Most girls would be thrilled to hear their significant other say that they love them. What the heck is wrong with her?”

“I screwed up. I told you, told everyone that I didn’t want to tell her because this might happen. I mean how much stupider could I get?”

“You’re not stupid if anything she is. You’re the best she could ever have and if she can’t see that then screw her.”

“I don’t know what to do Hallie. I should be angry with her and I am a little, I should hate her for this but I don’t. I want to because it would make it so much easier but I don’t I still think of her as the best thing to have ever happened to me. I still love her.”

“Then don’t give up so easily; fight for her.”

“How?”

“How about you start with a simple phone call? The worst thing that can happen is she doesn’t answer.”

“What would I say?”

“Just say what you feel.”

“Okay.” I say taking out my phone and scrolling through my contacts until I find Draya’s number and then called it, it rang a total of six times before her voice mail picked up. I took a deep breath and then spoke

“Draya, I am sorry about what I said last night. I didn’t mean it. I want to see you. I at the very least need to talk to you. Please call me back. I love you.”

I let out a defeated sigh as I hung up. Hallie put her hand on my shoulder and gave me what I am sure was supposed to be a encouraging smile.

The rest of the day was spent drowning my sorrows with half a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and attempting to watch the entire series of supernatural in one sitting which was an epic fail because we got sick of it by the middle of season 4 and decided to watch Harley Quinn the animated series, the injustice movie, and Gilmore Girls instead. I was able to break down and cry a few times. I could allow myself to fall apart for once confident in the fact that Hallie was there to help hold me together. Honestly it felt good to be able to let it out and have that outlet. Hallie decided to call her parents and tell them she was spending the next few nights at my house. “No way am I leaving my girl alone in her time of need.” she had said to me.

“Thanks Hallie, you’re the best.”

Hallie and I talked late into the night not about anything in particular just the kind of talk that is shared between friends the kind of talks where you can discuss everything with out saying much at all. It was light hearted and normal and it felt really good to have that kind of peace for a little while.

The next morning I checked my phone wearily and felt crestfallen when once again there were no new messages or voicemails, no missed calls again, nothing. I signed setting the phone down. Hallie was still asleep. Then my phone buzzed; I answered it quickly without checking the caller ID. “Hello?” I tried not too sound too anxious.

“Hey Sare Bear what’s up?”

“Oh, hey Tracy.” I said deflating instantly.

“What’s wrong?”

Tracy was ever the perceptive one in the group and even if she weren’t she always seemed to be able to tell what everyone of our small group was feeling; and so now seemed to be able to sense my emotional distress.

“Draya dumped me on homecoming night.”

“Why? You guys seemed more in love than ever.”

“Well apparently Draya didn’t feel that way.”

“You want me to come over?”

“Yeah. Hallie is already here but Tracy…”

She cut me off “Don’t tell anybody else; you got it mums the word.”

After I ended the call with Tracy I decided I would try calling Draya again. As my grandmother always said it’s the squeaky wheel that gets the oil. I dialed her number, it rang six times and then I got her voicemail

“Draya, it’s me again? Did you get my last message? Please my angel call me back. I really need to talk to you. I love you!”

And with that I hung up then I sent a text that simply read {please contact me. I love you.💜}

It wasn’t much longer before Hallie woke up with a yawn and stretched her arms. “Good morning Sare Bear. How are things with you this morning?”

“Not much better than last night.” I said glumly.

“I’m sorry. You want to head downstairs for some breakfast? I’ll make my famous Hallie hash brown scramblers.”

I smiled, Hallie hash brown scramblers were just scrambled eggs with lots of shredded hash browns and some cut up sausage links mixed in with a handful of shredded cheddar over the top. Probably a heart attack waiting to happen; and one of the best comfort breakfasts in the whole wide world maybe the universe. “Better make extra, Tracy is coming over.” I informed her.

“Awesome, we can have a girls day in!” Hallie said enthusiastically.

Tracy arrived just as Hallie was finishing up with cooking.

“Hope you’re hungry because I made plenty.” Hallie said.

“Yeah, I skipped breakfast so I could definitely eat.” Tracy said as Hallie filled our plates. After breakfast Tracy called her parents to tell them that she was spending the night at my house and maybe the next night too and she would keep them posted.

The day was spent pigging out on junk food as we watched Nancy Drew it is the perfect combination of teen drama, mystery, and supernatural spookiness. It just felt like the perfect binge watch for the day; but unbeknownst to my friends, I was periodically sending texts to Draya. Some short, some long, some angry, some apologetic, some pleading, and some honestly just desperate but they were all basically the same thing {please contact me. I need to talk to you. I love you💜} I don’t know how many I sent for sure but I bet it could have filled up the first few pages of a notebook front and back. I was being pathetic; I know I was but I didn’t care. My friends and I fell asleep on the living room floor with the tv on.

The next morning, Tracy and Hallie were up before me and already dressed in clothes that they had obviously borrowed from my closet but I didn’t mind.

“Good Morning guys.” I said yawning and stretching “What time is it?” I asked.

“6:45 we were going to let you sleep in a little while before you have to get ready for school.” said Hallie

“Honestly with what you are going through you deserve it.” added Tracy

“Well I am up now I might as well get ready.” I said heading upstairs and taking a quick shower before getting dressed. As I pulled my tie dy blue hoodie over my long sleeve black t shirt I spotted something on my floor. It was the corsage I had thrown two days ago and had until now forgotten about it. I kneel down and pick it up gingerly, as if it were a fragile priceless artifact that could fall apart if handled to roughly. I sighed, walked over to my bed side table and set it next to my lamp and let out another sigh before heading down stairs.

I spent the entire day in a fog, going through the motions speaking only when absolutely necessary, except for lunch. Raquel and Kelsey already knew that something was up when I finally told them that I had been dumped by Draya. They at first looked shocked before morphing into compassion and sympathy. Raquel who was sitting to my right instantly put her arms around me.

“Oh honey…” said Kelsey who had been sitting across from me and she came around to my other side and enveloped me in a hug. They offered me words of comfort and I acted like they helped when in reality it did nothing for my broken heart. I think Tracy knew it too. She understood heart break better than any of my other friends. Sure she was in a happy relationship now, but she understood where I was; having been there herself. Which may have been the reason she suggested we go over to Draya’s house after school and confront her. I protested at first but Tracy wasn’t about to give up that easily and all my other friends agreed and were backing her so I yielded to them .

The drive to Draya’s passed in a blur to me and before I knew it I was at her front door and rang the doorbell and waited, nothing. I knocked on the door and still nothing. Then for some reason I just lost it and started ringing the doorbell and knocking on the door like a mad woman and lasted for hours. I was just about ready to give up when finally Celeste answered the door “You simply don’t give up do you?” She said her tone stern and her face glaring.

“I’m sorry Celeste but I need to speak to Draya.”

Celeste’s expression softened “I’m sorry too Sarah but I’m afraid Draya will not see you let alone speak to you.”

“Couldn’t you talk to her? She listens to you.”

“I have tried that foolish girl simply will not listen to reason.”

“Celeste please…”

“I’m sorry…she doesn’t want to see you…you should go; good bye.” and with that she shut the door. I submitted in defeat, got back into Tracy’s VW and we went back to my house.

When we got back my friends were all saying something about trying something else after school tomorrow but I shook my head “No I’ll figure this out on my own guys I appreciate everything but I think I need to figure this one out for myself.”

The next couple of days passed by in a haze. I would call Draya in the morning and text her every chance I got but she never answered or responded to my texts so finally I gave up and that night called one last time. Six rings and then her voicemail “Draya it’s me again. I am just calling to say I’m done. I still love you and think I always will but it seems you don’t feel that way and I can’t do this anymore; so I’m just done. I hope you can find happiness even if it’s not with me. I will always remember you fondly and with affection and always love. I hope that you will think of me sometimes too but I guess this is it good bye my angel.” and with that I hung up and closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep and just hope I might find some peace in my dreams tonight.

THE END to be continued in story titled I Left Her