She cried and laughed.
She looked the other way.
“I’ll leave now,
Do you think I would stay?”
My heart shattered,
My eyes are wet.
I looked over
She stole my pet.
“I don’t like you,
Not one little bit.”
“You’ll get what you deserve,
I’ll make sure of it.”
(This is the first time I’ve ever done poetry and I know it’s not very good)
09/09/21
It’s actually great,I like it
There’s nothing wrong with this at all. It scans correctly, tells a story, and we learn something about a difficult time in the protagonist’s life. The line at the end that changes up thy syllable count does so in a way that makes it more impactful. It almost reads like an old outlaw country song; Americana. (Not all poetry needs to read fancy or highly-polished to be effective.) Well done.
