I must confess, okay

I lied.

I lied, okay.

about my personality

natural introvert

I was shamed into being “the quiet one.”

throwing a 12-year-old into a new world

would do that

I was shamed into quiet and shyness when

Certain words I said

were made incomprehensible

Though I spoke the same language

When my English was not American

and you could hear the African in me

Shamed into silence

because my voice was different

So I went from

being known as a talkative

a personality I had been given in Nigeria

to be known as the quiet one

Because I could not bear

to share my words,

to share my voice

With

those who would

look at me different

those who would

make fun of my voice

those who would

see the African in me

and then I could no longer fit in

Now, as a grown-up African

I call myself an introvert

Like I've always been that way,

an excuse to be quiet and not questioned

Truth is, I was made that way

From constant anxiety

that my accent would make me stand out

when all I wanted was to blend in

Growing up some more,

I now think of myself

As an extroverted introvert

because I love talking,

being around others

where my accent no longer matters

where I can make fun of my pronunciation

American or African

where my voice has been made comfortable

Though I love the quiet, too

The quiet of listening

The comfort of silence

The silence of solitude

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